


Take Care Of My Paper Heart

by guitarist17



Category: Women's Soccer RPF
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-26
Updated: 2016-05-02
Packaged: 2018-06-04 15:41:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 21,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6664522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/guitarist17/pseuds/guitarist17
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What do you do when imaginary becomes reality?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Heya friends!  
> I remembered a novel of Musso I read a long time ago and it inspired me to write this.  
> Sill French, so still sorry for any weird orders or bad choices of words.  
> Hope you'll like it! Let me know if you do :)

Everybody has a different definition of ‘writer’.

A writer can be a journalist, a poet, a playwright , a little girl writing her thoughts in her diary, a boss typing an urgent email, a high school boy finishing an essay at 2 am, a mother doing her grocery list, a thug vandalizing a wall with his spray-paint can, and the list goes on and on.

Tobin Heath is not one of them.

Tobin Heath is a novelist.

Now, once again everybody has an image of what a novelist looks like.

If I ask you to describe a novelist you’ll probably think of a tall man wearing an immaculate suit and glasses on his nose. Just type ‘writer’ in Google Image and you’ll see that it’s the common stereotype. And if you imagine a novelist writing his book you probably think of him sitting at his large wooden desk typing swiftly on his keyboard with a hot cup of coffee always in the vicinity.

Tobin Heath… well let’s just say she does not fit in that category.

Her closet mostly contains large hoodies, loose tank tops and t-shirts, soccer or cargo shorts and ripped jeans. Oh, and snapbacks. Lots of them.

She does have a wooden desk though. However there are no computer or cup of coffee on it; just a pile of things, each as random as the others.

She also owns a computer even though it is not on her desk. Where is it? She wouldn’t know the answer for she does not use it.

Indeed, she is one of the rare writers who still work with pens and paper. She writes everywhere; lying on the sand with the sound of the waves inspiring her, on the backseat of a taxi while the driver yells at other cars, with a spoonful of rice in her mouth sitting on her kitchen floor, in the middle of a park where she started a run but had lost her momentum as a sudden idea emerged in her mind.

There is also one thing that people think about writers. You often hear that they can be loners, confined in their own bubble, in their own thoughts, that they see the world differently and are not understood.

For once, Tobin Heath fits this category.

She isn’t solitary in the ‘suffering from it’ kind of way. She just is. And that’s okay with her.

She knows that most people who are 24 years old like her have a lot of friends but that’s not who she is.

Although she has friends. She can count them on her fingers: Ashlyn, Kelley, Amy, Lauren.

And she has family too.

Those people mean the world to her and she is more than happy to see them from time to time.

But she spends most of her time by herself in her own thoughts; exploring new places, juggling the ball around, longboarding, surfing, reading books, re-reading books, reading her Bible.

She thanks God every day for giving her this life.

She has people who truly care about her, she has people who read her work and actually like it, she has to wake up and do what she loves to do the most and the whole wide world calls her “one hell of a novelist” for that.

She also gets to make a good living out of her passion. Not that money is her priority but with it she got to buy her dreamed house. What’s more beautiful than to wake up to the sight of the ocean? The first thing she feels under her feet when she opens her door is the warm sand of San Francisco.

Tobin Heath is not the kind of novelist you could think of.

Tobin Heath loves her life.

Tobin Heath wouldn’t change a thing.

Tobin Heath wouldn’t change a thing but she doesn’t get to decide.

And things change.


	2. Part One

Inspiration works weirdly.

Some people have to seat during hours before finding the perfect sentence. Some people write an entire book within a short among of time. Some people wake up at 3 am to write on a sticky note some idea they got in a dream. Some people write an amazing book and never write again. Some people write hundreds of them.

For Tobin Heath inspiration comes when it does. She doesn’t torture herself to find the perfect idea; she just lets the idea come to her.

The world surrounding her is enough of an inspiration. A dog crossing the street, a wave slowly brushing the sand, a slit on a wall, a woman sitting at a bar, an full steaming plate, a laugh ringing from outside her house, an old man whistling happily, a bone breaking hug given by a friend. Anything. Anything can be a source of inspiration for Tobin Heath.

Today she’s longboarding along the beach when a little girl kicks her ball too strongly and sends it toward her.

The novelist stops and picks it up from the ground as the little girl runs to get it back.

“Hey there, did you lose something?” The tan woman offers a warm smile to the girl and hands her the ball.

“Thanks to you I didn’t! It’s my favorite ball so I’d be really sad if I had lost it. Thank you.”

“Why is it your favorite ball?” Tobin wonders tilting her head a little.

“Because my Mom bought it to me when I told her I wanted to be a professional soccer player.”

“You wanna be a soccer player? That’s so cool. I love soccer.”

“I love it too!” The young girl responds excitedly.            

“Alexandra where are you?” A woman’s voice calls from the beach.

“Oops that’s my Mom! Thanks for stopping my ball. Bye.”

Tobin doesn’t have the time to reply as the girl is already walking toward her mother while juggling her ball.

Midway she stops walking and does a quick little trick before making her way to the beach again.

And that is when Tobin gets it. The flash. The idea. The inspiration. The trigger to her new book.

“Goodbye.”

The plot quickly builds itself in her mind and she forces herself to remember all the details she can think of.

“Not the good day to be running out of paper Tobin,” she mumbles to herself.

Her eyes catch a glimpse of a stationer in a small street and she quickly turns around to go purchase paper.

A little bell rings when she opens the door.             

“Good afternoon Miss. What can I do for you on this fine day?”

Tobin immediately loves the atmosphere of the place. The little shop gives a feeling of privacy and the smiling woman who seems to own it makes her feel comfortable.

“Good afternoon. I’d like to buy you some sheets of paper please," Tobin smiles back at the middle-aged woman.

“Will it be all?”

“Yes please. I have to quickly write my ideas before I lose track of them. I have a good plot in mind and I would hate to let it slip away.”

“Oh you’re a writer?” The woman’s eyes widen a little.

“Yes, and I have a feeling that this book will be special so I really need to write,” she says more quickly to speed the conversation.

“If it’s a special book you need special paper.”

Tobin is about to protest but the woman already hands her a packet of sheets.

“Thanks. How much do I owe you?” She fumbles in the back pocket of her cargo shorts for her wallet.

“Nothing my dear. It’s my pleasure to help you with this book.”

“I can’t accept.”

“Just promise me you’ll come back and tell me if you liked my special paper.”

Her genuine smile warms Tobin’s heart and she finally gives in.

“Thank you very much. I’ll come back when I need paper. And I’ll give you a copy of my book if it ever gets published.”

In the blink of an eye Tobin grabs the paper, waves at the woman and gets out of the shop.

Once outside she rolls for a few meters on her board before sitting on the sand with volleyball players, people tanning, screaming children and ocean sounds surrounding her.

“Okay… I’ll start with a first quick draft of my ideas of the main character,” she thinks.

She finds her favorite pen in her pocket and starts to write here and now, letting her ideas flow.

_Alex has had a tough life. Her parents died when she was 6 in a car accident. Since then she’s been scared of the dark. The link between the two events is mysterious for the people close to her but that’s just the way she reacts._

_She was really close to them. Her dad (Michael) taught her how to play soccer and her mom (Pamela) was her best friend._

_She is an only child so their deaths had left her with her grandparents as only family._

_To make her parents (she is still sure they’re watching over her) proud she studied a lot in middle school and high school and practiced her soccer skills every day after school until she couldn’t walk anymore. Her schedule didn’t leave time for friends._

_UNC had called her during her senior year and all her efforts were rewarded._

_During her debut in college she made her grandparents proud by killing it in soccer. Unfortunately they both died during her junior year; respectively from a heart attack and from sorrow._

_Their deaths made her realized how lonely she was. Indeed, only focusing on soccer and studies as in her younger years she didn’t have time to make any friend._

_At the end of her senior year she got a call from the National team and for once since her parents’ deaths there seemed to be hope in her life._

_She packed her pink suitcase with every piece of cloth she owned and checked if her wallet contained all her papers before leaving her shitty apartment to go to the airport. There she decided to flee the East Coast, the coast she’d known her whole life and the coast which only brought her sadness, to go to the West Coast. Her destination: San Francisco. She has planned to stay there until camp._

_Age 23, tall, brunette, baby blue eyes, raspy voice, sweet smile, soccer player’s body._

_The story starts there and will deal with the adventure of Alex; the lost and lonely soccer player and how she’ll learn what it means to live._

Tobin’s ringtrone cuts her as she is about to start the first chapter.

She groans before checking who is calling.

“What do you want Ashlyn?”

“Dude I’m outside your house where are you?”

“I’m at the beach. I’ve just got an idea about a new story and I’m writing it. So come by later I have work.”

“Tobs it’s getting dark you should come back.  I promise I won’t be long; I just want to see you for a bit. And then I’ll leave you to your words.”

“Ash I really need to write,” Tobin sighs, playing with the sand with her hand.

“Come on dude I just miss you. If you want I can just seat in corner and watch you write. I won’t bother you I promise,” Ashlyn pleads in her phone.

“Fine I’ll be here in two minutes. The backdoor is open if you want to wait for me inside.”

“Cool! See you soon buddy.”

Tobin reluctantly stands up, brushing the sand off her shorts, and stuffs the sheets in one of the pockets.

The way back home passes quickly as the plot of her book develops in her mind.

She is immediately greeted by a tight hug when she enters her house.

“Promise I won’t bother you,” Ashlyn quickly says in Tobin’s ear. “But if you want to have some fun with your old friend, I’ve brought some rum.”

 Tobin chuckles as her friend plops down on her couch while pointing at a bottle of Captain Morgan.

“Alright, one drink and then I’m working on the book again. Understood?”

Ashlyn lifts her hands in surrender.

“You’re the boss.”

Tobin walks to her messy desk to put down the sheets of paper tucked in her shorts.

When she turns back Ashlyn is pouring rum in two glasses expertly, making Tobin giggles to herself at the sight of her tongue poking out.

She decides to subtly include this moment in her book so when she finishes it she can remember what she was doing the night she had started it.

Her favorite pen delicately scratches the paper, adding just a word, before she turns her back to the start of her new book to join Ashlyn on her couch.

_The adventure of Alex **Morgan** , the lost and lonely soccer player and how she’ll learn what it means to live._

**

A loud gust of wind wakes Tobin up and she blinks a few times before sitting up and noticing it’s already past noon.

As she had predicted Ashlyn stayed over until the early hours of the morning; leaving Tobin with a slight headache, a dead bottle and a blank page as a first chapter.

Standing up she drags her feet to the kitchen and starts to boil water for her morning tea. She glances at her bay window to see that the weather forecast was accurate. Indeed, wind is blowing strongly while the dark grey clouds discharge all their sadness on the city.

“It’ll be a lying on the couch in sweat pants, listening to rainy day music kind of day,” Tobin says to herself before pouring herself a cup of tea and grabbing her writing stuff.

She settles on her couch and starts to read what she wrote the previous day while sipping her hot beverage before getting ready to start her first chapter. The cap of her pen falls on the couch next to her and there’s a millimeter left between the lead and the paper when her doorbell rings.

“Okay, I’m starting to believe there is some sort of conspiracy to keep me from starting this chapter,” Tobin grumbles before putting her sheets and her pen down on her coffee table and making her way to the door. “And who gets out with weather like that?” She throws her arms in the air in disbelief.

The doorbell rings again.

“I’m coming!”

Her key slides into the lock and Tobin opens her door without looking into the peephole.

Her jaw drops.

“Please help me.”

Standing there is a soaked woman looking frightened and lost with tears streaming down her face. She is only wearing a t-shirt and jeans and her body is shaking as strongly as her voice.

“Oh my God come in.”

Tobin wraps her arm around the woman’s shoulders and grabs the little suitcase next to her, immediately guiding the woman toward her couch.

“Here, take this blanket,” Tobin hands the warm fabric to the woman. “I’ll get you some dry clothes really quick.”

She’s never run up and down the stairs as fast as she does to get the woman a change of clothes.

“Here, take this. There’s also a towel to dry your hair.”

The stranger takes the clothes in her shaking hands and just by brushing them with her fingers Tobin shivers at how cold they are.

The novelist turns her back to the woman, letting her dry her body and change privately.

“Thank you.”

The trembling rasp lets Tobin know that it’s okay for her to look.

The stranger has wrapped herself in the blanket again and Tobin quickly sits next to her before rubbing her hands up and down on the woman’s arms to help her warm up.

“What happened to you?” Tobin whispers slowly, worried that the woman was hurt by someone.

The woman brings her hands to her face and Tobin hears her try to control her breathing.

“I don’t know. The last thing I remember is that I flew here from North Carolina. I got out of the airport. It started to rain and I was about to take my coat out of my suitcase… Then nothing. Something must have hit my head because everything went black. The next thing I know I’m standing in front of your door.”

As she speaks her voice gets strangled by sobs.

“What is happening to me?”

Tobin knows what a panic attack looks like and the stranger on her couch is at the verge of being a victim of one. She has to calm her down before it gets worse.

“Hey hey hey, look at me,” she breathes, trying to sound as soothingly as she can.

The woman lowers her hands to let Tobin discover her eyes. A small almost inaudible gasp escapes the novelist’s lips at the lightness of their color.

“You’re safe. Don’t worry. We’ll figure what happen to you together. Right now you just need to calm down. Breathe with me.”

Tobin takes a big inspiration and exhales deeply. The woman follows her lead and after a few repetitions she seems to calm down.

“There you go. It’s okay. You’re okay,” Tobin smiles warmly, adjusting the blanket on the stranger's shoulders.

“Thank you,” the stranger whispers, and for the first time Tobin gets a small glimpse of the woman’s smile even though her eyes are still showing some panic.

“We just need to check something though. If you think you got hit by something I gotta make sure that you don’t have a concussion or something.”

The stranger runs her hand in her damp hair, searching for any wound our bump.

“Do you feel dizzy or nauseous?” Tobin asks.

“No I don’t. I’m just cold,” the woman responds in a small rasp.

“Okay that’s good. Let’s check your memory. I hope it’s good because driving to the hospital in this storm wouldn’t be a good idea. Let’s start easy: What’s your name?”

“I don’t have memory trouble,” the woman protests with a pout.

“We need to be sure. What’s your name?”

“My name is Alex.”

“Come on I need a proper presentation,” Tobin smirks, trying to lighten up the mood.

The woman chuckles and extends her hand for Tobin to shake.

“My name is Alex. Alex Morgan.”

We all know that horrible feeling when we think we’ve missed a stair and that we’re going to fall down the entire staircase.

Tobin gets this feeling. Multiplied by a hundred.

Her stomach drops, her throats tightens and her breath gets caught in her lungs.

Every detail, every single one of them, is there.

The baby blue eyes, the brown hair, the raspy voice, the sweet smile, the pink suitcase, the flight from North Carolina to San Francisco.

The stranger is looking exactly like the character she has imagined. The person was quickly described on paper but Tobin’s had a clear image of her in her mind.

And this exact same image is sitting right beside her.

“Are you okay?”

Tobin snaps out of her thoughts. Her heart is pounding in her chest so loudly that a deaf man could hear it from across the street.

Trying to calm her crazy thoughts she clears her throat, hoping that her voice won’t betray her.

“I’m sorry. I’ve just realized that you kind of remind me of someone,'' Tobin breathes, taking the woman’s hand in hers and shaking it. "I’m Tobin Heath.”

“Nice to meet you Tobin Heath,” Alex smiles sweetly, letting her hand linger in Tobin's before letting go.

“Your hands are still cold. Do you want something to drink in order to warm you up?” Tobin asks, standing quickly.

“Hum yes, it would be great actually.”

“I’ll make you some tea.”

In the kitchen Tobin’s hands grips the countertop tightly, her knuckles turning so white you could think her bones are going to break as her thoughts races in her mind.

It is impossible.

There is no way that her character is sitting in her living room.

It is just a big coincidence.

Coincidences happen all the time.

Yes; it’s a big coincidence. A huge coincidence.

But there is no other explanation.

Who is she fooling?

There’s no way in hell that coincidences like this happen.

Fuck it.

Her hands leave the countertop to grip her hair and she shuts her eyes tightly.

She is dreaming.

That’s it!

The amount of Captain Morgan she consumed last night has to have consequences.

This is all a strange dream and when she’ll open her eyes she’ll wake her in her bed to an empty house.

Just a dream.

The kettle whistles breaking her hopes and Tobin curses under her breath. There is only one way to clear this out.

Two cups of tea in hand she makes her way to the living room.

“Thank you very much,” Alex wraps her cold fingers around the hot cup.

Tobin’s mind is running a thousand miles an hour and while the woman sips on her beverage she discretely grabs her sheets of paper and her pen.

_Alex Morgan has a tiny birthmark in the shape of a circle on her left pinky._

Tobin closes her eyes and sends a quick prayer to God, begging for everything to be the biggest coincidence that will ever exist on earth before hiding her sheets under the coffee table.

She inhales deeply and finally finds the courage to glance at the woman on her right.

The delicate fingers wrapped around the cup are slim. They have short nails. There is no birthmark.

Tobin lets out a sigh of relief, all tension leaving her body.

“Thank you Tobin.”

The novelist lifts her eyes to meet ocean blue ones.

“I don’t know what I would have done without your help. I was really panicking and you managed to calm me down. You really helped me.”

“Anyone would have done the same,” Tobin’s humble side takes the stage.

“I’m not sure if there are a lot of people willing to let a complete stranger enter their house without questions and be as welcoming as you are. So please accept my gratitude.”

Tobin’s heart misses a bit at the smile that is offered to her.

She laughs when the smile stretches into an “o” shape when the brunette yawns.

“I’ll accept your gratitude if you take a quick nap. You look exhausted. We’ll figure out what happened to you when you wake up. And we’ll go to the hospital when the weather calms down.”

The only response she gets is a nod.

“Okay let me show you the guestroom.”

“Can I stay here please? I’m too tired to move,” the young woman whispers.

“Of course. I’ll let you sleep.”

Tobin gets up but a soft hand grabs hers, stopping her movements.

“Can you stay with me? I don’t wanna be alone.”

Brown eyes lose themselves in pleading blue ones and Tobin nods.

She intertwines her fingers with the brunette cold ones in a reassuring gesture and sits back on the couch.

“Sleep Alex, I’m right here.”

Alex smiles tiredly at her as a thank you while Tobin savors the way Alex’s name felt on her tongue.

She lies on the couch, her head on Tobin’s lap, and the novelist feels her breath even out in a matter of seconds.

Tobin allows her thoughts to wander as her eyes get lost in the wild ocean facing her behind her bay window.

After a few seconds she smiles, thinking back at her mini-heart attack when Alex introduced herself and chuckles at her own stupidity.

In what world fictional characters would be brought to life? She doesn’t know why she doubted in the first place. She doesn’t believe in magic or anything. It must have been a moment of weakness due to her lack of sleep.

The vibrations of her chuckle seem to disrupt Alex’s sleep for the young woman shifts.

“Shhh it’s okay,” Tobin soothingly whispers while stroking Alex’s hand with her thumb.

She mindlessly starts to draw patterns on the soft hand, noticing them finally warming up.

Alex unconsciously moves her hand when Tobin’s brush tickles her skin, exposing all her fingers to the novelist’s view.

Tobin gets that awful feeling again.

Where does that birthmark come from?

**

Tobin doesn’t know for how long she has been staring at the ocean. Her pulse hasn’t slow down since she spotted the circle mark on Alex’s hand.

The birthmark was not there in the first place; she would stake her life on it.

Alex turns around in her sleep and buries her face in Tobin’s stomach while her hand grabs a fitful of her shirt.

The beating heart of the novelist strangely slows down and she finally decides to face the situation.

Her character is here, sleeping on her lap. As much as she’d like to have an explanation, she does not. Coincidence can’t be this big and she confirmed it when she wrote about the birthmark and saw it appear on Alex’s finger.

What to do now? Tell someone?

People will think she is crazy. Alex will think she is crazy. She will have no choice then to write something about Alex and see it happen in order to prove her point. The story will spread in the whole world. She doesn’t want attention on her. And she doesn’t want attention on Alex either. The young woman has already suffered so much, she deserves some peace.

Tobin gulps loudly as realization hits her like a ton of bricks. If Alex has suffered it is only because of her. She wrote Alex’s life. She decided to make her character go through everything in order to build the plot of her book.

If Alex ever finds out she’ll hate Tobin with her every bone.

The novelist closes her eyes overwhelmed by her thoughts.

She feels herself drifting to sleep quickly but before falling into unconsciousness she makes a promise to herself.

She will find a way to send Alex back to her world, wherever that may be, and she will give her the best life she can think of.

**

A jolt makes Tobin open her eyes. The first think she notices is how dark her house is. The second thing she notices is the sound of heavy breaths.

She switches on the lamp beside her to discover Alex sitting straight with panicking eyes roaming the place.

“Alex you’re safe,” Tobin breathes slowly.

Startled by the voice Alex’s eyes find Tobin’s but her breathing does not slow down.

“You remember me? I helped you earlier. You fell asleep on my couch. Calm down, you’re okay.”

Alex stares at her for a few seconds before her eyes start to water.

“Tobin?” Her voice cracks.

“Yes it’s me. You’re okay,” Tobin cups her face and soothingly caresses her cheeks with her thumbs.

“I had this bad dream… And I woke up… And it was so dark…” Her shoulders relax a little under Tobin’s touch.

“I know, I’m sorry but I fell asleep too I didn’t realize it was already late. But it’s okay I’ve got you.”

Wrapping her arm around Alex’s shoulders the novelist brings the young woman in a hug. Alex buries her face into Tobin’s neck and the older woman rubs her back, she trying to her calm down. After a moment Tobin moves back a little and offers a warm smile at Alex.

“You good?”

“Yes thank you. I think I’m still a little bit shaken up by what happened earlier.”

“I get it. We’ll figure it out don’t worry, and everything will be good,” Tobin tries to reassures the young woman.

“I hope so,” Alex whispers, fidgeting with the blanket resting on her knees.

“But right now, I have some noodles leftovers that I can reheat if you’re hungry.”

“You don’t have to feed me. I mean, I already bother you so much today and you’ve been so kind even though you don’t know me. I can leave you alone,” Alex says, a blush coloring her cheeks as she stares at her fidgeting fingers, avoiding Tobin's eyes.

However her eyes shot up when the novelist’s laugh resonates in the room.

“You aren’t bothering me Alex. I don’t mind having you here. Plus, where would you go in this storm?”

Alex glances at the bay window and bites her bottom lip before wrapping herself more tightly in the blanket at the sight of the wild ocean and the pouring rain.

“Touché…” She mumbles and Tobin smiles.

“So noodles?”

The brunette looks at Tobin to see her smirk and she nods, a small smile dancing on her lips as well.

“Yeah noodles sound great.”

Tobin stands up to disappear in the kitchen and when she enters the room again her hands are gripping two steaming bowls. She puts them down on the table and sits Indian style next to Alex.

“Dinner is served my dear.”

Tobin wastes no time in taking her bowl in one hand and digging her forks into her noodles with the other. Alex chuckles at the sight before grabbing her bowl as well.

“So Tobin, what do you do besides helping complete strangers and inviting them into your house?”

Tobin slurps one stubborn noodle hanging from her mouth, making Alex giggle, before answering.

“I’m a writer.”

“Oh really? What do you write?” Alex’s eyes widen a little in surprise.

“Novels mostly. Well my novels are published, but I write some poems or short stories that I keep to myself,” Tobin shrugs.

“That is so cool. I’ve never met a novelist before.”

“Well we aren’t really different from other people,” Tobin smiles when Alex’s nose crunches at the noodles taste. “Sorry, I know they aren’t really good. My friend tried this new recipe yesterday but I’m not a big fan either.”

“It’s not bad… It’s hum different?” Alex states but it sounds more like a question.

Tobin laughs before continuing the conversation.

“And you, what do you do?”

She knows what Alex does. Alex just can’t know that.

“I got called by the US women national soccer team for next camp.”

“Wow that’s huge! So you’re about to become a professional soccer player?”

“I don’t know about that…” Alex whispers, playing with the rest of noodles in her bowl with her fork, a frown on her face.

“Why?” Tobin wonders, truly intrigued by Alex’s answer.

In her mind Alex ends up becoming the face of women soccer, but she’s never really thought of what her character could feel.

“I don’t know if I want to be a soccer player.”

Tobin’s eyebrows climb her forehead in surprise. She wasn’t expecting that.

“I mean I love the sport but I don’t think I wanna do it professionally. I’m more comfortable with the idea of coaching or something like that,” Alex finishes before starting to eat again.

“I see…”

Tobin is silent for a few minutes, letting Alex finish her dinner. Her eyes get lost into the ocean as she thinks. She only wrote a quick description of her character on paper; thinking she would elaborate everything in the actual chapters. But seeing Alex and listening to her makes her realize that the person sitting beside her is more than what she wrote. She is a living person with feelings, doubts, thoughts that Tobin didn’t plan.

Tobin closes her eyes briefly. Alex becoming more and more real only proves her that she’s right: She needs to send Alex back to her world before she finds out everything. She would suffer even more knowing the truth and Tobin doesn’t want her getting hurt again.

“You okay?”

Alex’s sweet wondering voice snaps Tobin out of her thoughts.

“Yes, everything is fine. You’re done?” The novelist asks while pointing to Alex’s bowl.

“Yes, thank you.”

“Okay, I’ll put everything in the dishwasher and then we can set the guest room for you.”

Tobin gathers their bowls and starts to make her way to the kitchen but a soft hand on her wrist stops her.

“Thank you for everything that you’re doing for me Tobin. I truly don’t know what I would have done without you.”

Tobin offers her small smile in return to Alex’s warm one.

“It’s the least I can do.” _After everything I put you through._

In the safety of her kitchen walls she finally lets a single tear escape.

“If only you knew everything I’ve done to you.”

Pressing her forehead on the cold door of her fridge she tries her best to strangle her sobs.

“I’m sorry I gave you such a hard life Alex. I’m so sorry.”

**

When she comes back in her living room Alex is fast asleep on the couch again.

Tobin ignores the flutter of her heart at the sight.

“You had a rough day. Let’s get you to bed,” the novelist murmurs softly before sliding her arms under Alex’s knees and back and lifting her up gently.

Alex’s eyes flutter open for a short moment before she wraps her arms around Tobin and buries her face in her neck.

While climbing the stairs Tobin decides that it would be easier to tuck Alex in her already made bed and to set the guest room for herself. Walking her hallway she swiftly opens her bedroom door and switches on the light with her elbow.

She delicately puts Alex down on her bed and pulls the cover on her.

“I’ll be in the room next door if you need me,” Tobin murmurs and gets a soft hum as an answer.

She unconsciously leans in to kiss Alex’s forehead.

Her lips touch the young woman’s skin and everything goes black. Literally.

Tobin straightens up and curses under her breath.

“Fucking storm… Now I need to go to the circuit breaker downstairs…”

Tobin slowly starts to walk to the door, bumping into several objects on the way.

“Tobin?”

“Yeah?” The novelist is alerted by Alex’s scared voice. She really hopes the young girl isn’t about to have a panic attack again.

“I can’t see anything…” Her voice trembles.

“Yeah the circuit breaker must have tripped because of the storm. Once I reach it the power will be back on.”

Tobin pats the wall, searching for the door.

“Don’t go,” Alex’s voice cracks again.

“I won’t be long I promise. But I need the power for my fridge and everything.”

“Don’t leave me alone please…”

Tobin stops her movements at Alex’s desperate plea.

“It’s so dark…”

That’s when it hits Tobin. She remembers writing the words.

_Alex has had a tough life. Her parents died when she was 6 in a car accident. Since then she’s been scared of the dark. The link between the two events is mysterious for the people close to her but that’s just the way she reacts._

Tobin curses herself.

Even her shutters are electric, so there’s no way to get any light in the house as she closed every one of them and she knows Alex will be too paralyzed by fear to walk downstairs with her. Climbing down the stairs in the dark with a frightened body in her arms would be too dangerous.

“I’m right here Alex,” Tobin quickly says in order to reassure the young woman.

This time she doesn’t bother to walk carefully in order to avoid any obstacle, she doesn’t care if she bumps her feet in something. She just needs to reach Alex.

Her knees finally hit the mattress and she climbs on the bed.

Her hands pat the bed to find Alex and when she softly hits her body a hand pulls her down on the bed.

Alex’s shaky breath hits Tobin’s neck and the novelist protectively wraps her arms around the young woman.

“I’m right here.”

**

 Tobin wakes up with Alex launched on her side like a koala, the small ray of light peeking from the sides of the shutter allowing her to watch the peaceful face of the young woman.

The night was restless. Alex hadn’t stopped moving and jolting; woken up by bad dreams. Dreams linked to her parents’ deaths, Tobin assumes, for she had screamed their names a few times.

The novelist hasn’t slept a lot; too occupied calming the soccer player down by murmuring soothing words in her ear, or hating herself in her mind for giving Alex so much pain.

The forward had fallen in a deep slumber just a few hours ago when the sun started to rise, allowing Tobin to rest even for just a moment.

She carefully frees herself from Alex’s grasp, getting out of bed and climbing down the stair without a sound. The first thing she does is to fix the breaker circuit of her house, getting the power back on in order to open her shutters.

Tobin stays by herself for about an hour, trying to enjoy her tea and keeping herself from thinking about Alex and how awful she feels about the whole situation.

Soft footsteps on her wooden floor make her lift her eyes and she’s greeted by a sleepy Alex Morgan, dragging her feet and rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. The young woman takes a seat next to Tobin at the bar of the kitchen and offers a small, almost timid, smile to the novelist.

“Hi.”

“Hi Alex. How do you feel?” Tobin asks, genuinely concerned.

“I’m okay thank you.”

Tobin nods slowly studying Alex’s face, searching for any hint that the forward might be lying and actually be upset. When she doesn’t find any she smiles brightly at the brunette.

“What do you want for breakfast?”

“Hm… Do you have coffee?”

“No I don’t, I’m sorry…” Tobin scrunches her nose.

“You don’t like it?”

“No, not at all! But I have tea if you want?”

Alex laughs softly at Tobin’s disgusted face before nodding.

“I’ll have a tea then please. It would be my first morning without coffee in years!”

The novelist stands up to prepare Alex’s hot beverage. She’s standing on her toes, trying to grab a mug from her cabinet for Alex when the forward’s small voice makes her stop dead in her tracks.

“I’m sorry about last night.”

Tobin turns around, clutching her eyebrows together.

“Why are you sorry for?”

“For making you stay with me. For waking you up every hour of the night. For crying on you, probably ruining your shirt. I’m sorry,” Alex whispers sheepishly.

In two big steps Tobin is by Alex’s sides, gently lifting her chin in order to look at her in the eyes.

“Hey don’t worry, you don’t have to apologize. I get it. There’s nothing to apologize for,” she says, brushing a strand of hair out of Alex’s face.

“But you’ve know me for a day and I’ve already caused you so much trouble. I’m really sorry Tobin.”

“Well don’t be. You’re no trouble at all,” Tobin smiles reassuringly to the younger woman.

Alex opens her mouth to protest but the genuine smile on Tobin’s face stops her. Instead she smiles back at the novelist.

“Thank you.”

Tobin makes her way back to her cabinet, determined to finish Alex’s drink.

“There’s no need to thank me either.”

Only a few minutes later Alex is able to sip her tea, Tobin sitting next to her while watching the ocean behind her window.

“The storm calmed down during the night. We’re going to be able to take you to the hospital; check if everything is alright.”

Alex starts to tap her fingers on her mug, lowering her head and eyes.

“You don’t have to take me to the hospital… You’ve already done so much for me. I can call a taxi and go by myself.”

“Alex we’re over this. I’m going with you… Unless there is someone who can go with you, a family member or something.”

Deep down Tobin still hopes that Alex is going to smile and say _“Oh yes, I have my parents who live in a little town half an hour away from here. I can call them”_. She still hopes that Alex hasn’t gone through everything her Alex has gone through. She still hopes that life has a sense and that characters don’t walk through your door one day.

Her hopes are crushed once again when Alex’s eyes darken with sadness.

“No… No I don’t have anyone.”

It takes all Tobin’s strength not to curse or hit herself.

“Then I’m not letting you out of my sight until I’m sure you’re okay.”

“I’m okay…”

“I really want to be sure. I’m worried about you.”

Alex can’t help a small smile to stretch her lips at Tobin’s care.

“Alright, we’ll go.”

“Perfect. Do you need to shower?”

**

“I don’t understand.”

Sitting on the curb Alex drops her face in her hands. At her friend’s silence she lifts her eyes to look at her again.

“Can you find an explanation?”

Tobin is standing motionless next to her, eyes looking straight in front of her. The only proof that she is not a statue is her throat which moves slightly when she tries to swallow the lump blocked in it.

“No, I can’t.”

**

_Everything was going perfectly well._

_The drive to the hospital wasn’t awkward, both women getting to know each other better._

_The doctor examining Alex was nothing but charming and nice. He only had good news; confirming that there was nothing wrong, that the short memory lost was probably due to the storm and Alex’s fears and trauma. He told Alex she just needed to rest for a few days and to come back if anything like that ever happened again._

_Then it started to get worse._

_Alex had offered to take Tobin for a drink to thank her for everything she had done for her. She had try to pay but her card was rejected.  
_

_After a few tries Tobin had told her she would take care of it and that Alex could repay her later._

_In the car Alex had voiced her concern about her credit card and Tobin offered to go to her bank to signal the problem._

_It got even worse._

_The bank employee could not find Alex’s accounts._

_He, and then his superiors, checked the credit card numerous times only to confirm each time that it couldn’t be a fake._

_However, there was no trace of an Alex Morgan. None._

_Alex had no money._

_They advised Alex to go to the Police, report them the problem._

_Tobin had driven straight to the Police station with an awfully pale Alex on her passenger seat._

_There everything crashed down even more._

_Even with an identity card, a driver license and a passport as proof that she was a citizen of the United States; there was no Alexandra Patricia Morgan registered._

_Tobin knew she would have a bruise from how hard Alex clenched her arm to prevent herself from falling as her knees had weakened._

_“What do you mean you can’t find me anywhere?”_

_“According to the data: You don’t exist.”_

**

“Tobin, please say something.”

Alex’s sobs snap Tobin out of her paralysis.

Hesitantly she kneels in front of Alex, clenching her jaw at the watering panicking and lost blue eyes looking for support in her own brown eyes.

“They’re going to figure it out Alex. They saw you, they saw your papers; they can’t ignore that you exist. It’s just a gigantic bug in their data. They’ll found you again and you’ll have your money back, you’ll have your identity back.”

“What if they don’t find me?” Alex’s voice cracks.

Tobin gently brings her hands to the forward’s face, soothingly caressing her cheeks and wiping the tears off them.

“They’ll find you sweetheart.”

Alex closes her eyes and exhales loudly, trying to calm her sobs.

Tobin kisses the top of her head before pressing her forehead against Alex’s and closing her eyes too.

“They’ll find you.”

**

Tobin Heath is quiet. She has always been.

But Tobin Heath is also known for her capacity to say the right thing at the right time.

Today she can’t figure out what to say.

Her hands grips her wheel tightly, whitening her knuckles, while Alex wipes the few tears that won’t stop falling out of her eyes.

She is quiet but her mind is screaming.

Screaming that this is all her fault. Screaming that she needs to find a solution. Screaming that she needs to comfort Alex. Screaming that the girl next to her deserves so much better than the life she gave her.

There are only a few minutes left before they reach her house and she still doesn’t know what to do, what to say, or how to fix everything.

She presses her fingers on her right temple, trying to soothe the headache that decided to show up at the worst of time.

Tobin feels the cold fingers on her hand before she sees them. Alex’s fingers lace with hers and the squeeze she receives strangely relaxes her shoulders.

The red light gives her an excuse to look at the woman on the passenger seat.

Blue eyes still clouded with worry and incomprehension are looking right back at her.

“I’ll be okay Tobin. Don’t beat yourself up too hard.”

Her shoulders tense again.

She is supposed to be the one reassuring Alex. She is supposed to be the supportive one.

For the first time of her life Tobin feels useless.

And she doesn’t like it. Not for a second.

So, as she parks at her house she does what she always does when she is upset, worried or confused.

Alex doesn’t have the time to unbuckle her seatbelt that Tobin is already opening her door for her and grabbing her hand to drag her to the beach.

Tobin glances to Alex to see the confused expression on the forward’s face but she decides to stay silent until she figures out what she feels and what to say.

They walk until they’re as close to the ocean as they can get without getting wet.

Tobin sits and Alex follows her.

It’s calm.

Tobin had chosen this beach to buy her house because there aren’t too many people coming here. It makes her feel like she has her own private place.

It’s calm compared to Tobin’s thoughts.

But the more she stares at the peaceful ocean, the more she feels like she can breathe again.

It always has the same effect on her. Being close to the ocean always helps her clear her mind.

There is a shift next to her and her shoulder is brushed by another, reminding her that Alex is here.

Tobin Heath is quiet.

But when she says something she means it.

“I will take care of you.”

Her rasp is so soft she is afraid Alex didn’t hear her.

“I’m sorry what?”

Tobin licks her lips and turns her eyes to meet Alex’s.

“I will take care of you. For as long as you need my help I will be here.  For as long as this unbelievable mess is going on I will be here. I’m not letting you in this alone.”

Her eyes shifts from looking into baby blue to look back at ocean blue and she lets the soft waves guide her again.

“I won’t let you down.”

The gentle strokes of Alex’s thumb remind her that she hasn’t let go of Alex’s hand since she dragged her out of her car.

There is a small kiss placed on her shoulder before Alex rests her head on it.

“I know you won’t.”

**

Living with Alex is easy and Tobin makes everything in her power to make Alex’s life with her easy as well.

Her first action is directly when they come back from the beach. Tobin immediately starts to search for the coffee maker her Grandmother had bought her as a house warming gift (even though Tobin had told her more than a million times since she was born that she didn’t like coffee).  Under Alex’s puzzled gaze she pushes all items on her countertop to make space before running to her attic and coming back with the heavy machine in her arms.

“You don’t have to do that Tobin,” Alex protests, not able to hide her smirk as Tobin struggles to understand how the machine works.

“No it’s okay. If you’re gonna live here I want you to have everything you need.”

A full smile makes its way to Alex’s lips for the first time since the terrible news dropped.

It’s also the first time Tobin can’t ignore the jolts in her stomach.

The next days she does everything to keep Alex’s mind out of the mess she’s in.

Together they set the guest room for her. They clean up and old dresser Tobin had forgotten about and put it in Alex’s room.

Tobin laughs more that day than she has in a long time, going from a corner of a room to the other pushing the dresser according to Alex’s orders.

“No I think it was better there actually.”

“Never mind, it was definitely better next to the bed.”

“Okay put it back where it was before, I don’t like it here.”

The more days pass the more Tobin’s house feels alive. She has always loved her house, but since Alex’s been living with her she’s found herself loving it even more.

Maybe it’s the way Alex leaves her empty cup of coffee in the sink every morning, too lazy to put it in the dishwasher. Maybe it’s the way she’s got into the habit of picking up Tobin’s shoes after Tobin kicked them away in the middle of the hallway as she always does. Maybe it’s the way she hears Alex move in the next room keeping her from feeling alone. Or the way her house smell has changed, mixing a new fresh smell of vanilla with the former ocean smell.

It isn’t her house anymore. It’s already becoming their house.

If the days bring changes as they go, the same goes for the nights.

It starts with Alex coming with Tobin in her bedroom to watch TV one night before going back to her own room. The following night she slips under Tobin’s cover as they read, claiming she doesn’t like to stay alone when she’s awake, but goes back to her room again when Tobin’s eyes are too tired to stay open. It goes like this for a few nights, and Alex stays next to Tobin later in the night each time.

Until one night.

They’re watching a dumb movie when Tobin gets thirsty. She asks Alex if she wants water too, getting a small nod in return, before sliding out of bed to get their drinks. When she comes back she can’t muffle the soft laugh coming out of her lips. The only visible part of Alex’s body is the top of her head. Buried in Tobin’s cover, the soccer player is snoring lightly, already sleeping soundly. Tobin tip-toes to switch off the TV before sliding carefully next to Alex.  She pushes the cover off Alex’s face and the younger woman’s nose scrunches as the light disturbs her sleep.

“Tobs the light…” Her hand flies in the air, searching for the switch, but lands on Tobin’s stomach.

“Oh yeah, I’m sorry,” Tobin apologizes in a whisper, quickly turning her lamp off.

She settles on her pillow, trying to calm her erratic heartbeat as Alex’s hand is still on her.

Tobin feels her shirt wrinkles and she realizes Alex is clutching it and has no intention to let her go.

“Goodnight Al’.”

As a response Alex moves closer to her, nuzzling her jaw, and hums softly.

Tobin doesn’t sleep alone from that night on.

So living with Alex is easy. Even easier as the days and nights go by.

The only problem is that the more days pass, the more Tobin forgets about her purpose.

For the first days of Alex living with her she spends hours facing her sheets of paper, trying to figure out a way of ending the mess she’s created.

But then Alex gets closer to her, and the time she spends with the younger woman is a time she doesn’t spend searching for a solution.

Soon her sheets of paper are almost forgotten, hided in a box in the kitchen.

The more she learns about the soccer player the more she forgets Alex is supposed to be a character she created. The sight of the young, funny, smart, gorgeous, talented woman makes it hard to believe she isn’t supposed to be real.

The day pass and Tobin forgets.

The day pass and Alex becomes a person.

**

The wakeup call comes two weeks later.

Tobin opens the front door for Alex as they come back from a run.

“Man I’m exhausted!”

“Can’t keep up with me Morgan?” Tobin winks as Alex plops down on the couch.

“Shut your mouth Heath, you and I both know who’s the best.”

“Whatever makes you sleep at night Al,” Tobin chuckles, kicking off her shoes.

“I think I’m going to take a nap right here right now,” the soccer player sighs closing her eyes.

“Okay, I’m going to take a shower because unlike you I’m not a gross person.”

“I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear you.”

Tobin laughs before making her way upstairs to her bathroom.

The hot water hits her back and she feels her muscles relax at the sensation. Her eyes close and she lets her thoughts wander freely.

The first think she thinks of is that she needs to buy milk.

This leads to think she needs to tell Alex it’s her turn to go to the grocery store.

And so she thinks about Alex.

Alex seems to be in all of her thoughts since she appeared on her doorstep.

First it was because Tobin was confused and scared by what was happening to her. Then it was because of her mission to find a solution. But those thoughts evolved into something else.

Now when she thinks about Alex she thinks of the way her eyes color shifts according to her mood. From sparkling blue when she laughs, to grey blue when she is sad or upset, ocean blue when she is calm and peaceful, or just the inexplicable blue when she opens her eyes for the first time in the morning, immediately searching for Tobin.

She thinks of the raspy voice echoing in the house calling Tobin’s name. How raspier it is in the morning when she greets the novelist with a small “mornin’ ”.

She thinks of intense soccer games, Fifa matches, Monop deal duels.

She thinks of loud laughs exchanged on the beach.

She thinks of deep talks murmuring late at night.

She thinks of soft hands brushing her arms.

She thinks of hot and steady breaths against her neck in the dark.

She thinks of her favorite person on earth.

Tobin slams her hand on her shower door.

“You can’t think like that Tobin,” she groans, gritting her teeth. “She has to go back. You can’t have her. Stop being selfish.”

The novelist stays under the water for a few extra minutes, getting all thoughts of Alex out of her mind. She is quick to step out of the shower, drying her body and sliding into fresh clothes.

Her loose T-shirt is just thrown over her head when a loud scream makes her jump.

It could be comical how quickly she hurtles down the stairs. However, she doesn’t have the chance to get to Alex as a furry figure tackles her to the grown. Long wet licks wet her cheeks and she laughs before pushing the dog away.

“Okay okay that’s enough Moses! I’ve missed you too,” Tobin strokes the excited German shepherd, forgetting about why she ran downstairs in the first place.

That is until Alex latches on her sides, pointing to someone sitting on the couch.

“Tobin there is a stranger in our house.”

Tobin can't find the strength to look at what Alex is showing her, she already knows who’s sitting on the couch. She only stares at the younger woman, a small smirk on her lips. “ _Our house_.”

“Tobin, do something please,” Alex shakes her arm violently.

Tobin rolls her eyes before looking at the intruder. She’s greeted by a piece sign and impassible face.

“Yo.”

The novelist shakes her head and chuckles.

“You know Kelley; the spare key I gave you is just in case of emergency.”

“Well there was a stranger sleeping on your couch. I think it’s a pretty big emergency,” Kelley shrugs, pointing at Alex.

The soccer player scoffs before frowning when Tobin laughs.

“Excuse me I’m not a stranger! And who are you?”

“I’m Kelley,” Tobin’s friend state simply.

Alex’s fingers tighten around Tobin’s arm.

“Tobin who is this?” Alex hisses. “I woke up and she was staring at me, inches away from my face,” she continues, approaching her forefinger and thumb to emphasize how close Kelley was.

“Hm it’s Kelley, one of my best friends. Sorry about her she… She tends to do weird stuff like that, don’t pay attention to it,” Tobin rubs the back of her neck.

Alex turns back to the freckled woman on the couch and this time Kelley smiles brightly at her.

“Is this your girlfriend Toby?”

“Don’t call me that…” Tobin warns.

“Answer the question Toby.”

Tobin sighs before responding.

“No she’s not. This is Alex. She has some problems going on so I’m helping her and letting her stay here.”

Kelley shots up with a grin and walks to Alex, bringing her in a bear hug.

“Nice to meet you Alex. Tobin’s friends are my friends.”

“Sorry about that… You don’t want to be her friend,” Tobin whispers, earning a smack on her arm.

“So I take care of your dog and that’s how you thank me?” Kelley feigns offense and puts her hand over her heart.

“That’s your dog?” Alex asks, eyes sparkling at the sight of Moses.

As a clue Moses jumps on his hind legs and rests his paws on Tobin’s shoulders, licking her face again.

“Yes that’s my little, not so little anymore, puppy Moses. And I think he’s missed me as much as I missed him,” Tobin chuckles.

“Meh, he was pretty happy with my Mom,” Kelley shrugs.

“Moses?” Alex raises an amused eyebrow at Tobin who blushes a little.

“Yeah… When you throw a ball in the water and he runs to get it there’s water splashing on his sides… You know like he’s dividing the sea… So Moses…” Tobin rambles. “Don’t judge okay?” She eventually chuckles.

“I’m not judging!” Alex laughs before stroking the dog’s head. “So why was this big boy with Kelley?” She wonders.

“Kelley’s mom’s dog is actually his mother. So Karen took care of him when he was a small pup. From time to time when Kelley visits her she asks if he can come with her. She likes him a lot,” Tobin explains watching Alex pet her dog.

“Yeah yeah yeah, great story. I’m hungry though Tobs,” Kelley says and smiles innocently at her friend.

“Then go to the kitchen and make yourself a sandwich,” Tobin rolls her eyes.

“Okay, I see how you welcome a friend. I’ll remember that Tobin. I’ll remember,” Kelley states sternly before disappearing in the kitchen.

Tobin chuckles at her friend’s antics before joining Alex, who has sat on the ground to keep petting her dog.

“She’s something else,” Alex says while nodding to the kitchen with a smile.

“Yeah she is. But she grows on you. And she is a really good friend; I don’t know where I would be without her. She’s actually my agent,” Tobin responds, distractedly scratching Moses behind his ears.

“It must be cool, working with your friend.”

“Yes it is. She’s a huge help and she does her job really well. I wouldn’t have known success if it wasn’t for her hard work.”

The soccer player nods, impressed that the quirky brunette is actually a serious business woman.

“So you didn’t tell me you have a dog,” Alex winks.

“You didn’t ask,” Tobin shots back.

“He seems really sweet and loving.”

Tobin laughs and at the sound Moses turns his head toward her and licks her cheek. Alex bursts into laughter, rolling on her back.

“He is really loving indeed,” Tobin says, trying to stay composed but fails and laughs with Alex.

“Tobin, can you come please?” Kelley’s voice resonates from the kitchen.

The novelist frowns at the unusual serious voice of her friend.

“She must have broken something. I’ll be right back,” Tobin says to Alex who hums, busy with Moses.

“What’s wrong Kels?” Tobin wonders, entering the kitchen.

She stops dead in her tracks, color draining from her face, when she sees what Kelley is holding.

“I was looking for the sugar in the cabinet and I found this in a box. I saw the title so I thought it was the new novel you were telling me about a few weeks ago. I started to read and… Tobin what is this?”

Tobin clenches her jaw, unable to form words.

“Why are you writing Alex’s life?” Kelley tries again. “Because you’re obviously talking about the Alex who is in your living room, the description matches.”

“I’m not writing about her,” Tobin mumbles, fidgeting with the aim of her shirt.

“What do you mean? Tobs I read what you wrote. Why are you writing those things? It's kind of weird even for you.”

“I’m not writing about her… I wrote her.”

The silence in the room is heavy and Tobin feels the hair of the back of her neck raise at the uneasy atmosphere.

“What? Tobs you don’t make any sense.”

Tobin sighs loudly, passing her hand on her face, before sitting on a stool at her kitchen bar and mentioning Kelley to sit next to her.

She offloads everything. As the story goes on she can’t help but feel like a mad person, but she also can’t help but feel relieved as she finally voices everything that’s been going on in her head.

“So you’re saying that Alex comes from your notes?” Kelley slowly says.

“Yes.”

“Tobs that’s insane.”

“I know. I know Kel. But that’s the only explanation. Everything coincides: her name, her childhood, her physique. And it also explains why she doesn’t appear in the Police’s data or in her bank’s.”

Kelley stares at her for a few seconds, realization sinking behind her eyes.

“Dude that’s so fucked up,” she breathes.

“Don’t tell me.”

“What are you going to do?”

“I’ve got to find her way to send her back. She doesn’t belong in this world, she can’t be happy here. And imagine if she finds out that she comes from someone’s imagination. It’s like telling you that you don’t truly exist. I can’t hurt her like that. And I can’t have her hate me. If she discovers that I wrote her life she’s going to hate me for all the pain I put her through.”

Tobin grips her hair tightly in both hands, elbows on the bar.

“I can’t have her hate me Kels. I really can’t.”

Kelley caresses her friend’s back in a soothing gesture.

“Do you know how to send her back?” She wonders.

“I guess I have to write it. That’s how everything happened in the first place, when I wrote.”

“Why haven’t you done it yet?” Kelley frowns, confused.

“I’m afraid it’s not gonna work and hurt her instead, or worse. Imagine if I write something and it kills her instead of sending her back. And I…” Tobin cuts herself, looking away.

“You what?”

When Tobin looks into Kelley’s eyes again hers are filled with tears.

“It’s hard to let her go.”

Kelley’s eyes widen a little and she opens and closes her mouths, at loss of words.

“I’m being selfish and foolish, but I can’t find the strength to do it. It’s easy to forget everything when I’m by her side.”

Kelley nods understandingly before voicing in a simple sentence what Tobin is trying to tell her.

“You have feelings for her.”

Tobin only nods.

“I’m sorry to say that Tobs, but you’re right; you have to send her back. It’s too dangerous for her to stay. You don’t know what will happen; maybe someday she will have vanished inexplicably. This whole thing is so insane and you don’t know how it works. You have to send her back and quick, before you develop more feelings. The more you postpone it the harder it will be.”

“I know. But like I said I’m being selfish,” Tobin says sheepishly, fidgeting with her shirt.

“I’m not blaming you.”

“But you still think that I have to send her back…” Tobin sadly looks at her friend, knowing she will always tell her the truth.

“You know it’s the best thing to do too Tobin.”

The novelist nods slowly, a tear escaping her brown eye.

“Everything is alright guys? You’ve been here for a moment now.”

Alex‘s voice behind them startles both friends but they’re quick to pretend the conversation they’ve just had never happened.

Tobin wipes her tear before turning on her stool to look at Alex with the best smile she can offer.

“Just catching up. We were thinking about going out for dinner. You’re down?”

Alex’s excited response makes her heart skip a beat.

 _A few hours._ Tobin thinks. _I’m giving myself a few hours and then I’ll set her free._

**

“You want to go on a walk on the beach with me?”

At the raspy words Tobin lifts her head on nods.

Since they went out with Kelley all she can think of is “ _This is probably the last time…”_

_This is probably the last time she laughs at one of my stupid jokes._

_This is probably the last time she wrinkles her nose at me when I eat something she finds disgusting._

_This is probably the last time she hugs me._

_This is probably the last time she laces her fingers with mine._

Tobin welcomes the coldness of the younger woman’s fingers.

“Your hands are always so cold,” she whispers.

“It’s because you’re supposed to warm them up,” Alex winks playfully, tugging on Tobin's hand to bring her closer.

They walk in silence, enjoying the calming sound of the waves.

Tobin feels a tug on her hand when Alex suddenly seats on the sand. The novelist takes place next to her and Alex moves closer to rest her head on her shoulder.

“You know… even though I wish it could have been under other circumstances, I’m so grateful that I met you,” Alex’s whisper is barely louder than the waves.

Tobin closes her eyes, letting Alex’s voice sink in her veins, trying to keep a clear memory for when Alex won’t be here anymore.

“I’m grateful too. I thank God every day for giving me the chance to meet you.”

Alex sits up to look at Tobin but the novelist keeps her eyes shut.

“You do?”

“Of course I do.”

When Tobin opens her eyes again Alex is staring at her lips.

Blue orbs flutter between brown ones and full lips and after a few seconds Alex starts to lean in.

Tobin stands up.

“I’m going to get a beer. Do you want one?”

Tobin tries to ignore the way her heart cracks at the hurt in Alex’s eyes when she nods.

The novelist starts to walk towards her house but turns around again.

She needs to say goodbye.

“Hey Al’?”

Alex turns her head to look at the novelist.

“Yeah?”

“You are the most important person in my life.”

Her heart’s crack heals at the sight of Alex’s blinding smile. The younger woman open her mouth to respond but Tobin doesn’t let her the chance to.

“And I’m sorry.”

Alex’s smile falls a little and a slight frown appears on her face.

“What are you sorry for?”

Tobin shakes her head.

“You don’t really need to know. Just know that I am sorry and that...”

Tobin swallows the lump in her throat. It’s her only chance.

“I love you.”

She doesn’t realize how fast she walked to her house, she doesn’t know how she found her sheets of paper with her vision blurred by tears, she doesn’t know why she’s decided to seat at her desk when it’s the last place she’s used to write.

Tobin wipes her eyes.

She has to write.

She has to.

Closing her eyes she allows herself to remember Alex one last time.

Her eyes, her smile, her laugh, her smell, her grip, her caresses, her love, her talent, her jokes.

She remembers her face, illuminated when she laughs, darkened when she is upset, confused on the beach when the three little words slided softly out of Tobin’s mouth.

Brown eyes opens again, a tear falls on her sheet.

Outside blue eyes open and look up at the sky, a drop falls on Alex’s shoulders.

“Do it Tobin.”

She grips her pen, almost breaking it in two.

“Fucking do it.”

For the first time in her life the familiar scratch of her pen makes her want to vomit.

_Alex Morgan is_

“What are you doing?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked the first part!  
> Let me know what you think :)


	3. Part Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait guys! I hope you'll enjoy this part as much as I enjoyed wrtting it :)

_Alex Morgan is_

"What are you doing?”

Tobin turns around so fast that her head spins and her vision blurs.

Soon enough the image of Alex standing a few feet away with a worried look on her face becomes clear.

“Are you crying?”

The younger girl takes a step forward but stops when Tobin moves backward, hitting her back against her desk in a desperate try to hide what is behind her.

“Tobin what’s going on?”

The novelist opens her mouth to answer but only releases a small whimper, her voice dying in her throat.

Alex starts to walk towards her again but stands still once again when Tobin raises her hand to stop her.

“Stay there,” Tobin is finally able to rasp.

“What? Why? Is it about what you said on the beach? Are you upset that I didn’t answer or follow you?  I didn’t follow you immediately because you were looking upset and torn, I thought you needed some space. But if you really want to know I lo-”

“Don’t say it.”

The sharp words quiet Alex.

“Please don’t say it.”

If Tobin sounded harsh the first time, her voice cracks and her eyes are pleading this time.

The novelist sees the incomprehension, hurt, and sadness passing through Alex’s eyes before the younger woman crosses the living room, ignoring the shakes of Tobin’s head.

“Stay away from me.”

“You don’t mean that,” Alex kneels in front of Tobin, her eyes trying to see through the novelist’s.

“I do.”

“No you don’t.”

Tobin seems to look everywhere but at Alex. She needs to find a way to finish her sentence without Alex seeing.

Soft hands force her to look deep into gray blue eyes.

“I get that it can be overwhelming to have feelings for a girl. I get that we basically just met, and love can appear as a big word. But you said it Tobin. I didn’t make you say it. And I feel it. You love me and I feel it. I lo-”

“Please Alex don’t say it.”

“Why?”

Alex’s pleading eyes hurt Tobin more than the younger woman could ever know, and they always make the novelist give in.

“You can’t feel that. Not when you don’t know me or what I’ve done,” Tobin pushes Alex’s hands away from her face, trying to ignore how much Alex seems to suffer at her words.

“I know you,” Alex argues, her voice trembling.

“You think you do. But you don’t know the awful things I’ve done… I’m hiding so much Alex. So much that you can’t know about.”

“What do you mean the things you’ve done? You’re the most caring and kind person I’ve ever met. You wouldn’t hurt a fly,” Alex breathes as she tries to take Tobin’s hand but the novelist seems to avoid any physical contact.

“I’ve hurt someone Alex. Believe it or not, I have.”

It’s unconscious but Tobin glances at her sheets of paper behind her while talking. It doesn’t go unnoticed by the younger woman.

“Is it what you were doing? Writing about the ‘awful’ things you’ve done?”

“What?” Tobin starts to panic; unaware that Alex saw the sheets behind her.

Instead of replying Alex reaches for the sheets of paper. It’s too quick for Tobin to understand what she’s doing when she stretches her arm. However when the forward stands up with the sheets in hand Tobin’s eyes widen.

“Give that back. You can’t read it,” Tobin shots up but Alex is already at the other side of the room.

“No I want to read it. If you’ve really done a bad thing, I wanna know about it so I can prove you wrong. I want to prove you that I can have feelings for you, even when I know all the dark parts of your life.”

“Alex, please…” Tobin whimpers desperately but it’s too late, Alex’s eyes are already scanning the words.

As she reads her face goes white. Her eyes become empty, her figures become impassible, her mouth becomes a thin line.

Tobin doesn’t notice she’s crying until a tear hits the wooden floor, breaking the unbearable silence with a ‘plop’.

Plop.

Plop.

“Tobin what is this?” The voice isn’t the usual raspy one filled with life.

Plop.

Plop.

Plop.

“Tobin what is this? Why is this dated one day before we met?”

Plop.

Plop.

Plop.

“Tobin, answer me. How would you write about me before knowing me?”

Brown eyes are lifted to meet vacant blue look.

“I’m so sorry Alex.”

“Explain this to me.”

The novelist’s legs can’t carry her anymore. She lets her body fall on the ground, sitting there with her eyes fixing her hands.

“I stopped the ball of a young girl that day. We talked for a bit and she told me she wanted to become a soccer player. Her name was Alexandra.”

Tobin hears Alex move. For a moment she thinks the younger woman is getting fed up with her avoiding the subject and is going to slap some sense out of her. A second later she sees Alex’s legs in front of her as the woman sits facing Tobin. However the novelist keeps her gaze on her hands, afraid that if she looks at Alex she’ll stop.

“When she left I had this great idea for a new book. I was going to write about a lost girl, with a difficult childhood, who was going to experience amazing things after college. I was going to make her meet great people, visit so many places and play for the best soccer team in the world where she would meet her second family. She was going to mature so much, becoming an inspiration for so many people.”

Tobin takes a sharp breath, tears burning her eyes.

“So that night I started to write a quick description of that character. I wrote her difficult childhood and early adulthood; how she lost her parents and then her grandparents. How she was so focused on soccer and studies she didn’t have any friend. I also wrote what she looked like; a tall, brown haired, blue eyed girl, with a sweet smile and a raspy voice. And I named her.”

A soft hand lifts Tobin’s chin. When she looks up Alex is crying.

“I named her Alex Morgan.”

She can’t stand Alex’s quivering lips, her eyes filled with tears, her frown of incomprehension, but she can’t look away.

“The next day she was standing on my doorstep,” she finishes in a murmur.

“How?”

The choke sends a shiver down Tobin’s spine.

“I don’t know…” The novelist shakes her head.

“So… You wrote me?” Alex’s voice is heavy.

 Tobin doesn’t know if it’s from sadness, anger, incomprehension, hate, or all of them.

“Yes.”

A weight is lifting off Tobin’s shoulders. She doesn’t have to lie anymore. But there is a new weight in her stomach making her feel sick.

Tobin closes her eyes tight, dropping her face in her hands, before letting all her feelings out.

“I’m so sorry Alex. I’m sorry I lied but I couldn’t bring myself to tell you the truth. When I understood who you were I was so shocked. And then I started to hate myself. I hate myself for giving you such a hard life. I’ve made you go through so much. You deserve so much more. You’re sweet, caring, tender and kind. You really deserve more than what I gave you. I know I should have told you but I couldn’t say anything. I didn’t want to hurt you. I didn’t want to make you suffer again. And I couldn’t bear the idea of you hating me for what I did. So I stayed silent, hoping that I would find a solution. I am so sorry Alex.”

Heavy silence is the only answer she gets.

The novelist sighs, before letting her sobs escape freely.

Alex hates her.

She is a horrible person.

“Hey.”

For once Alex’s hands feel warm when they cup her face.

If she looked lost, with tears streaming down her face before, she looks composed and understanding as she brushes Tobin’s tears away.

“Don’t cry.”

Her fingers brush Tobin’s stubborn baby hair out of her forehead. Gray blue upset eyes have shifted into warm ocean blue ones roaming Tobin’s face with nothing but care filling them.

“Shh don’t cry, it’s okay.”

“It’s not okay Alex. I’ve hurt you. I’ve hurt the most important people in your life. Why are you so calm about it?”

“You didn’t know Tobin,” Alex’s calm voice is almost enough to sooth Tobin’s fears and pain.

“What?”

“How could you guess that what you wrote would become reality? You didn’t write my life in order to hurt me. You wrote it because it was a book idea. It was never supposed to be real. I can’t be mad or hate you for something you didn’t plan. Especially when I see how much you’re hurting because of it.”

Tobin stares at Alex in disbelief for so long Alex eventually chuckles at her blank look.

“How are you so okay with everything? I mean… I’ve basically told you that you aren’t supposed to exist in this world and that I created you.”

Alex shrugs.

“I don’t have any explanations for what happened, how I was brought to life, how I appeared on you doorstep. But I don’t care about it. What I care about are the weeks we’ve had together. I’ve never felt more alive than during these past few weeks. You care about me Tobs. I’ve seen it. I don’t care if I come from that brain of yours. I am grateful to have you. That’s all that matter to me. I didn't have anyone before, and now I have you. ”

“You can’t take the situation as lightly as that Alex,” Tobin rasps, shaking her head.

Alex knowing everything doesn’t mean she doesn’t have to send her back.

“Of course I can. Watch me,” Alex challenges. “I forgive you for everything you wrote, so please forgive yourself. We can move past that. You’re not a horrible person. Lives like mine happen all the time. You just wrote something realistic. You did your job.”

“And I have to finish it,” Tobin whispers, lowering her head, once again unable to look Alex in the eyes.

“What do you mean?”

“I have to send you back Alex.”

“Send me back where?”

“To your world.”

The silence is back again. But this time when Alex’s hand forces Tobin to look at her, her eyes are burning with anger.

“What do you mean to my world?”

“You can’t stay here Alex. It would be too hard for you. You don’t have any money, you don’t have an identity here. In this world you don’t exist. And it’s too dangerous. I don’t know how this thing works. I rather send you back and know you’re safe in your world than wake up one day with you gone, vanished for God knows why. I’m going to send you back and give you the best life I can think of.”

Alex’s jaw clenches. It clenches so hard Tobin thinks it’s going to break.

“You don’t get to choose what’s best for me Tobin.”

“Yes I do.”

“May I know why?”

Tobin swallows hard. She knows Alex will hate her for what she is about to say. But it’s the only way to make her eventually agree. If she hates Tobin she doesn’t have any reason to stay in this world. She will want to go away from the novelist.

“Because you’re my character. I created you. I wrote and I’ll write your life. I owe you. I choose.”

“You don’t believe that.”

“I do. You’re not real. You don’t belong here. You’re just my creature.”

If Alex is hurt by her words she doesn’t show it.

Tobin also tries her best not to show any emotions.

“I’m just your creature. I’m just a character,” Alex repeats in a whisper.

“You are.”

“Then why were you crying two seconds ago, apologizing for hurting me?”

Tobin is about to answer but Alex doesn’t let her.

“If I’m your character, you should know everything about me right? Because I’m only the fruit of your imagination, nothing more.”

 Tobin nods slowly, unsure of where Alex is heading.

“What’s my grandmother’s name? According to what you think, you killed her, so you should know.”

The novelist’s lack of answer doesn’t seem to surprise the soccer player.

“I see… Memory troubles maybe. Did you know I broke my arm when I was five while riding my bike? Did you know I had a mouse called Roquefort because The Aristocats is my favorite Disney movie? Did you know my English teacher’s name in eighth grade was Anderson? Did you know my mother had taking the habit of writing a letter for each of my birthday so I could always have pieces of her? Do you know the reason why I am afraid of the dark since my parents died?”

As she speaks, Tobin finds it harder and harder to keep a straight face. Blue eyes pierce holes into brown ones, searching for any hint of weakness behind them.

“Do you know Tobin?”

Tobin used to play with Ashlyn when they were children. They would climb the big oak in Ashlyn’s backyard and settle in the tree house their fathers had built up there. They played board games, cards games, but their favorite was staring contest. Don’t ask why, it just was. They would sit during long minutes just staring at each other’s eyes until one of them would burst out laughing. Tobin won most of the time.

However, Ashlyn’s eyes weren’t piercing blue. They weren’t staring at her with anger and determination. They weren’t staring at her with a deafening silent surrounding her.

Ashlyn’s eyes weren’t Alex’s.

Ashlyn would laugh.

Alex waits.

Ashlyn would lose.

Alex wins.

“I don’t.”

The younger woman just nods, her face expressionless.

“But you understand why you don’t know right?”

“Alex don’t try to m-”

“No you let me finish. You don’t know because I’m more than just your character and you know that. I am a person, I am real, and I have a life that you didn’t completely write. You don’t know everything about me. You don’t know my thoughts, my doubts, my feelings, my tastes, or my entire past. You don’t decide what is best for me. I do. I am a human being Tobin. I make my own choices. I am real and you know it.”

Alex’s voice softens as she speaks, turning her last phrase into a whisper.

Her eyes have melted, letting Tobin sees the flow of emotions behind them.

Suddenly she stands up, startling Tobin, and pulls the novelist up on her feet.

“This feels real, doesn’t it?”

The pads of Alex’s fingers brush the back of Tobin’s hand, moving up to her forearm slowly.

Tobin nods, losing all her intentions under Alex’s touch and eyes.

The tips of her fingers moves back down to Tobin’s hand, intertwining their fingers.

“This feels real too?”

Soft fingers closes Tobin’s eyes before tracing the novelist figures; slightly brushing her eyes, nose, cheeks, jaw and finally mouth.

Tobin nods.

“And this?”

Warm lips take the place of Alex’s fingers, brushing the novelist's sharp jaw and soft throat with small kisses, making the hair of the back of her neck raise.

“It does.”

“Good. What about this?”

Tobin feels Alex take her hand and moving it up.

It is surprisingly steady. It is strong against her palm. It feels warm.

“Open your eyes.”

Tobin lets her brown eyes meet blue ones.

Alex’s hand is covering Tobin’s, squeezing it between the warmth of her skin and the warmth of her heart.

“You have it you know. It’s yours.”

The younger woman takes a step forward, closing the distance between both women, and Tobin clutches the fabric of Alex’s shirt over her heart.

“I can’t.”

“Why?”

“I’m so afraid I’m going to lose you.”

Alex frowns at Tobin’s murmur.

“You won’t. I’m not going anywhere Tobin.”

“But we don’t know if this is going to last. What if you disappear one day? I won’t be able to live through that; not knowing where you are or if you’re okay.”

Both Alex’s hands drop Tobin’s to cup the novelist’s face.

“Look at me. I am here. I am real. I’m not going to vanish.”

“You don’t know that.”

Alex seems to be at loss of words, her eyes fluttering around Tobin’s face, looking for the right words.

“You don’t belong here Alex. You don’t belong in this world.”

“I belong with you.”

Tobin lets a small cry escape her, mute at Alex’s words. She circles Alex’s waist, locking her hands behind her back before bringing their foreheads together and closing her eyes.

“Let me say it Tobin. Please.”

Her fingers caress Tobin’s cheeks, waiting for any word of disapproval. When Tobin stays silent the younger woman slightly leans forward, letting her breath collide with Tobin’s. Their lips brush with Alex's murmur.

“I love you too.”

**

Tobin knows deep down that Alex isn’t just coming from her imagination.

Her thought is confirmed when Alex’s clothes hit the floor, leaving her naked in the middle of her dark bedroom.

From this instant Tobin knows for sure her mind isn’t good enough to create such a beautiful person.

Alex makes her understand that even more with every touch, every sigh, every kiss, every moan, every scratch, every breath and every word.

Tobin spends the whole night exploring every part of Alex’s body with her fingers and with her mouth; kissing every freckle, brushing every muscle, biting tender skin, caressing every scar.

Each time her fingers come across a scar she stops her movements and ask Alex to tell her about it.

How the scar on her ankle is from a fall in the stairs. How the scar under her chin was an accident of scooter. How the scar on her forefinger comes from Roquefort, the nice mouse who one day decided to bite her.

In the early hours of the morning she enjoys the way Alex’s eyes are heavy with sleep but still filled with adoration and blown by desire.

She enjoys how she grips her hand, how she pulls her closer not wanting any space between them, how her breath becomes erratic, how her back arches, how her body freezes.

The grip on her hand tightens before loosening up and she catches the final breathless moan in her mouth.

It’s only minutes later, with the younger woman’s arm around her waist and eyes closed that Tobin finds her voice again.

“You’re real.”

A squeeze on her waist and a soft hum against her neck are the only responds she gets before letting herself slide into a deep slumber.

**

Tobin wakes up to kisses placed down her spine, then up to her neck.

“I know you’re awake,” Alex rasps against her skin.

The novelist rolls on her back and Alex lies next to her, head resting on her hand.

“Hi.”

“Hey.”

“You’re beautiful.”

Alex offers her a wide smile and pulls Tobin on top of her. The novelist drops a kiss on the younger woman’s pink lips before looking at her again.

“You know we’ve got to find a solution about you?”

The soccer player sighs and pulls Tobin in for another kiss.

“Can we talk about that later please? And like not talk at all right now?”

“No Al, I really want to sort it out.”

“There is nothing to sort out.”

“I don’t think you understand how dangerous the situation is,” Tobin shakes her head slowly.

“What’s dangerous?”

“I have a power on your life Alex. I don’t want to write anything more about you but what if someday I’m pissed at you. We don’t know how I could react. I could blow a fuse and write that I want you to die.”

“You would never write anything like that Tobs, you know that,” Alex chuckles, playing with the hair on the back of Tobin's neck.

“Please take this seriously Al… Okay, I probably will never write that but what if the paper is torn, or thrown away, or burn?  Then what? You die because your story is destroyed?”

“We’ll hide it Tobs. Stop being paranoid, nothing is going to happen to me,” Alex soothingly says, caressing Tobin’s face and the novelist sighs.

“I just want you to be safe.”

“I am. Don’t worry babe, I’ll be alright.”

A glint of amusement flashes in Tobin’s, previously serious, eyes.

“What?” Alex wonders.

“Babe? I like the sound of that,” the novelist winks.

Alex laughs before letting her hands slide down Tobin’s back to reach her butt and squeezes it.

“You do?” She seductively asks.

“Hm hm,” Tobin bites the younger woman’s bottom lip. “Very much so.”

“And how does this sound?” Alex rasps before sucking on Tobin’s pulse point and grinding her hips against the older woman’s.

“How does what sound?” The novelist keeps a moan from falling of her lips.

“Breakfast.”

In a second Alex is on her feet, throwing shorts and a tank top on her.

Before disappearing in the hallway she turns away and winks at the shocked novelist.

“You are the biggest tease on earth,” she shouts after Alex before laughing.

“And you didn’t even have to write it! Come on, I’ll make you your tea.”

Tobin rolls on her back, spreading her arms on her bed, and looks at the ceiling.

If her mornings are going to be like this from now on she is more than in.

**

Tobin enters the kitchen a few minutes later with a fresh pair of shorts and a loose t-shirt on. She chuckles to herself when she sees Alex sipping her coffee lost in her thoughts, still unaware of her presence. The novelist walks towards her before circling the younger woman’s waist and kissing her temple.

“Deep in thought love?” She asks while sitting next to the soccer player and grabbing the steaming cup Alex made her.

“Yes, I was thinking about our discussion… Why are you so convinced that everything comes from the paper? I mean, it could be the pen you used, or just you.”

“That’s because it’s never happened before. So it can’t be my pen, because I’ve had it forever, or me, because… well I’ve been writing forever.”

“I see…” Alex nods her head slowly, looking as if she is still in her thoughts.

“Is there something else on your mind?” Tobin wonders.

“Actually yes… I know you said you didn’t want to write anything more about me; but what if you write that I have my identity and my money. Do you think it could work?”

“I don’t know Lex…” Tobin scratches the back of her neck. “I mean, we could try I guess.”

They both get up and walk towards Tobin’s desk, where the sheets of paper were forgotten the previous night. Tobin grabs her pen and looks at Alex for confirmation.

“Yes, do it. We’ve got nothing to lose,” Alex encourages her with a sweet smile.

“Okay.”

_Alex Morgan is registered in the Police’s and United States’ data. She is a legal citizen of the US and has an identity card, a driver license and a passport to prove it._

_Alex Morgan has a band account and owns_

“Hm Alex… I’m sorry to ask that but I need to know how much money you had back there,” Tobin blushes a little.

“Oh… Hum I had” Alex leans in and whispers the amount in Tobin’s ear, like she doesn’t want anyone else to know even though they are alone.

“Wow, that’s a lot for someone as young as you,” Tobin says, surprised.

“Well I received my parents’ and grandparents’ money when they died so…” Alex fidgets with her fingers.

Tobin closes her eyes, cursing herself for being nosy.

“Hey it’s okay, I don’t mind talking about them,” Alex reassures her when she sees the novelist beating herself in her head.

“I still feel guilty about what I’ve done to them...” Tobin sheepishly says.

“It wasn’t your fault Tobs. I told you that last night. One day you’ll understand that.”

The younger woman pecks the novelist’s lips gently, chasing all the bad thoughts away.

Tobin finishes her sentence and they both stand still for a few seconds.

“I don’t even know what we’re waiting fo-”

Tobin’s ringing phone cuts Alex off. The novelist slowly takes it and picks up.

“Hello?”

“Hi. Are you Miss Heath?” A deep man’s voice asks.

“Yes I am.”

“Hello Miss. I’m Boris Williams, the police officer who took care of your friend’s problem. You told me to call you if I had any news because Miss Morgan doesn’t own a phone.”

“Yes I remember you. Do you have any news?”

“Actually I have. I’ve been checking for any change every morning since you came and this morning all the data seem to have come back. Miss Morgan doesn’t need to worry anymore. It must have been a problem in our system.”

“That’s wonderful to hear sir! Thank you very much, I’ll let Alex know!” Tobin can’t contain her grin at this point.

“No need to thank me, I’m just doing my job. Send Miss Morgan our apology for causing her troubles.”

“It’s okay; she is a very forgiving person. Have a good day sir.”

“Goodbye Miss.”

As soon as Tobin hangs up Alex is shaking her arm violently.

“What was it? What was it?”

Tobin offers her a wide smile before cupping the younger woman’s face and kissing her.

“You’ve got your identity here baby.”

“For real?” Alex’s eyes starts to shine with joy.

“It worked!”

“Do you think the bank will cal-”

Tobin’s ringtone interrupts her once again.

“Apparently, not letting you finishing your sentences is their new game. Do you want to pick up this one?”

Alex nods before taking the phone in Tobin’s hand.

“Hello… Yes this is she… Yes, I have… I see…. Don’t worry, I understand… Okay I’ll come by… Thank you… Goodbye.”

The soccer player hangs up but keeps looking down at Tobin’s phone. The novelist almost wrings her neck when she tries to look at Alex’s eyes.

“Was it the bank? Did it work too?” She asks while rubbing her neck.

“Will you go on a date with me tonight?” Alex asks in return.

“What? I mean, of course I will but can you tell me who it was please?” Tobin replies, confused.

“Great, I’m going to treat you with the best meal you’ve ever had,” the soccer player winks playfully and Tobin lets out a sigh of relief.

“It worked too then?”

“Yes, they want me to come by this week to check is everything is as it ought to be and sign some papers and stuff,” Alex says while circling Tobin’s waist with her arms before pecking the novelist’s lips.

“Good, two problems down. Still one to go.”

“What do you mean still one to go?” Alex frowns.

“We still have the sheets of paper.”

“Tobs, we’ll just hide them somewhere.”

“But what if someone finds them and writes stuff about you,” Tobin pouts.

“We’ll find a secure place. Like a special hiding place only we will know about.”

The novelist eyes suddenly widen and she wriggles out of Alex’s embrace. She quickly grabs her sneakers and struggles to put them on.

“Tobs what are you doing?” Alex asks after a moment.

“I’m going back to the stationer where I brought the sheets of paper. You just said ‘special hiding place’ and something clicked up there.” She pats her temple. “The woman who gave them to me was rambling about her ‘special paper’ and that I should come back to tell her if I liked her ‘special paper’. She said it quite a few times to be innocent. Maybe she knows something or she’s done something like cast a spell. Ah-Ah!” Tobin exclaims when she finally manages to put her shoes on.

“You mean like she’s a witch?” Alex raises an amused eyebrow at the older woman.

“At this point I don’t know what can be real or what is just surrealist or imaginary. So who knows? You coming?”

“Oh yes I am! Wouldn’t want to miss how you’re going to accuse her to be a witch without getting punched in the face,” Alex chuckles before following the determined novelist outside.

**

“Good morning Miss. What can I do for you on this fine day?”       

A voice greets them as Tobin enters the small stationer, fingers intertwined with Alex’s.

“Hello. Hm… So here the thing: I don’t know if you remember me but I came here like a month ago to buy paper,” Tobin starts slowly under the woman’s interested gaze.

“Yes I remember you. You were about to start a new book. One that you thought would be special.”

At the word Tobin quickly glances at Alex in a way which means “See? The word again”.

“Exactly. Well, you gave me what you called a ‘special’ paper and I have a few questions about it if you don’t mind.”

“I’m listening my dear. What do you want to know?” The middle-aged woman politely asks.

Tobin takes the sheets of paper out of her backpack, and places them on the counter. She opens her mouth to speak again but a loud gasp beats her before she can make a sound.

“Oh my… Is that what I gave you? This paper is pure garbage; I used it to protect my floor when my dog was just a puppy and he would still pee in the house. I didn’t pay attention to what I was giving you apparently!”

“Well, I’m not complaining. I wouldn’t say that it’s pure garbage,”  Tobin replies, a little frustrated by how the conversation is going when she wants to have answers to her problem.

“As a professional I’m telling you; this?” The woman grabs the sheets in one hand. “It doesn’t worth anything.”

Before Tobin or Alex can say a word the gray-haired woman drops the sheets in a shredder and tiny pieces of paper fall on the ground.

The novelist’s eyes widen, all color draining out of her face, and she violently opens her backpack again, looking for the sheet where Alex’s story is written.

“No…” She fumbles into her bag, only finding pens and sticky notes. “No no no it can’t be happening.”

“Are you alright Miss?”

Tobin ignores the woman and cups Alex’s face.

“Are you okay? Do you feel sick? Do you feel weak? Can you understand what I am saying?” The novelist fires questions, eyes looking at Alex’s body for any wounds.

“Tobs you’re hurting my cheeks,” the younger woman mumbles, face compressed between Tobin’s hands.

“I’m sorry,” the novelist apologizes, her hands falling on her sides. “Are you okay though?”

“Yes I am. You’re scaring me, what’s going on?”

Tobin leans to whisper in Alex’s ear.

“The sheet where I wrote you was in that pile.”

Alex’s eyes widen a little, like the novelist’s did previously.

“Oh…” She pats her arms, chest and face slowly. “Well I feel fine,” she eventually shrugs.

Tobin sighs loudly in relief.

“Are you okay?” A worried voice asks behind them.

“Oh yeah, sorry about that,” Tobin reassures her. “Just a little fright for nothing, don’t worry.”

“If you say so…” The woman says, not convinced but lets it go. “So about that special paper; the real one this time,” she reaches for something behind her but Tobin stops her.

“It’s okay. I don’t need new sheets; I already have some at home waiting for me.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes I am. I’ll come back when I need some, but for now I’m okay,” Tobin assures, a grin spreading on her face.

“And about the questions you wanted to ask?”

“No it’s okay. I already have all the answers I need,” Tobin smirks and looks at Alex who has a glint of amusement in her eyes. “Goodbye, have a great day.” The novelist laces her fingers with Alex’s and drags her outside.

They don’t hear the middle-aged woman’s answer, and they don’t see the puzzled look on her face at the weird acting couple.

Tobin can’t contain her joy for too long. Once outside she circles Alex’s waist and lifts her in the air.

“You’re alive. You’re real. We don’t have anything to worry for!” She chants and Alex chuckles.

“I told you I would be okay,” she smiles sweetly.

The happy moment is short as she takes a sharp breath and brings her hand to her chest.

“Are you alright?” Tobin’s voice is filled with concern as she places Alec back on the ground.

“I… can’t… breathe…” Alex chokes.

“No no no. I knew the paper was linked to you. Come on baby breathe with me. Breathe Alex please.” Tobin’s heart pounds in her chest harder than ever, her hands cupping the younger woman’s face.

A loud laugh startles her and a wide smile stretches Alex’s lips.

“You should see your face!”

Tobin freezes for a second.

“What the fuck?”

“I’m kidding. I’m perfectly fine,” Alex keeps laughing at the novelist’s shocked face.

Her laugh is stopped by a small punch on her arm.

“Ouch!”

“Don’t ever do that to me again you idiot! You scared the shit out of me,” Tobin groans, out of breath as if she had just run for 10 miles.

“I’m sorry babe, but I had to do it!” Alex chuckles, earning a new slap on her arm. “Ouch again!”

“You deserve it! You have the worse ideas ever,” Tobin rolls her eyes, finally getting amused by the situation.

“But you love meeeee,” Alex coos, taking Tobin’s hand.

“That I do,” Tobin admits with a smirk.

She’s rewarded by Alex’s biggest smile and a kiss on her lips.

They make their way back to the house, feet digging the warm sand.

As they walk in a comfortable silence Tobin takes advantage of Alex’s fascination for the ocean to stare at her.

The woman she loves is safe, by her side, and loves her back.

If you had told her this a month ago she would have called you crazy.

**

Alex keeps her promise and takes Tobin on a date.

They find themselves sitting in a quiet restaurant, conversations and laughs coming one after another smoothly. It’s simple but Tobin loves it.

As the date goes on they come up with crazy theories about how Alex arrived on her doorstep. 

“Parallel universe?”

“Pff don’t be ridiculous, I’m still convinced Ms. Special Paper is a witch or something,” Tobin says, taking a bite of her desert.

“Maybe that’s the secret of life? Like we’re living in someone’s imagination, who is living in someone’s imagination, who is living in someone’s imagination, who is living in someone’s imagination, who is living in-”

“I get it babe, you can stop repeating,” Tobin chuckles.

“Or it’s from a Genie, like in Aladdin?”

“Don’t flatter yourself, I didn’t wish for you…” The novelist playfully teases the younger woman. “Don’t pout I’m joking! Al I was kidding… I love you.”

The soccer player finally smiles.

“Yeah yeah yeah, I love you too,” she rolls her eyes, feigning annoyance.

Tobin lets Alex pay for their diner and they make their way back home.

As they walk along the beach Alex intertwines her fingers with Tobin’s and moves closer to the novelist.

“It was nice. Thanks for taking me out Lex,” Tobin softly says before kissing the younger woman’s temple.

“You’re welcome. It’s the least I can do after everything you’ve done for me.”

They walk in a comfortable silence for a few minutes before Alex speaks again.

“I was thinking… Since I have my money back, I can look for an apartment or small house,” she slowly says.

“What do you mean?” Tobin frowns and moves back a little to look at the younger woman who is now fidgeting.

“Well… You don’t have to let me stay at your place anymore. We’ve just started to date so I’d understand if you wanted me to live somewhere else and not rush things. Because living together is supposed to be like a big step in a couple’s life,” Alex explains, a slight blush coloring her cheeks.

The novelist can’t help but smile at the younger woman’s cuteness.

“Oh… Yes I guess you’re right. Maybe it’s the best thing to do and I’ll understand if you decide to move out,” Tobin responds seriously, looking deep into Alex’s eyes.

Alex nods and looks away, making Tobin smirks at how bad she is at hiding her deception.

“But I’d be really sad if you do,” the novelist adds in a murmur.

Alex’s head turns to look at her so fast she’s afraid the younger woman is going to stiff her neck.

“You would?” She asks hopefully.

“Of course I would. I love living with you Al,” Tobin gently smiles and Alex brings her into a hug.

“I was so hoping that you would say that! But I wanted to be sure you want this as much as I do,” she whispers into the older woman’s neck.

Tobin moves back to kiss Alex’s lips.

“Lex my house started to become our house from the moment you made me move your dresser around your room,” Tobin playfully smirks, making Alex laughs, before adding seriously. “You’ve transformed my house into a home.”

The billions stars over their heads will never shine as brightly as Alex’s eyes when the words leave her mouth.

**

It takes Tobin a few weeks to start writing again.

Partly because she is busy living her life with Alex, partly because she is afraid her words will be brought to reality.

So to begin, she writes insignificant things.

_A volley ball is sent in my garden accidentally._

_The ugly flower my mom offered me dies mysteriously._

_The Spice Girls come back together._

_Moses stops destroying every toy I buy him._

When nothing happens she starts to relax a little. However she tenses up again a few days after when Alex asks her to write about her to see if they are still somehow linked.

After long minutes of argument she reluctantly agrees, writing a little thing that won’t have a lot of impact if it becomes real.

_Alex Morgan has a scar on her right knee._

The soccer player’s knee stays blank but they decide to wait a few days, not wanting to jump on conclusion. However, seeing that nothing happens Tobin gets more and more creative.

 _Alex Morgan hates coffee._ (“I swear to God if it happens I’ll force you to drink a cup every morning, you traitor.”)

 _Alex Morgan’s favorite song is Sexy and I Know It by LMFAO_ (“Jesus you’re caught dancing once and it follows you your all life.”)

 _Alex Morgan cooks breakfast for Tobin every morning._ (“Ain’t got time for that. I do it sometimes though, you should be happy.”)

 _Alex Morgan can fly_. (“No, sorry to disappoint you baby…”)

 _Alex Morgan knows where Waldo is._ (“Seriously?”)

 _Alex Morgan’s favorite person in the whole world is Tobin Heath._ (“I love you with all my heart babe.”)

**

“Baby… Babe, wake up.”

Tobin’s eyes flutter open to see Alex kneeling in front of her, the younger woman’s soft hand caressing her wild hair out of her face.

“What time is it?” She grumbles sitting up.

She immediately misses the heat of her pillow, aka Moses. The dog lifts his head off the ground lazily before returning to his peaceful sleep.

“It’s almost 4 am. I woke up and you weren’t there, I wanted to check on you. Should I be jealous that you rather sleep on the ground than sleep next to me?” The soccer player playfully nudges Tobin’s shoulder as they make their way to their bedroom.

“I’m sorry Al. I just had this great idea for the book and I had to write it. I didn’t want to wake you up so I went downstairs. I guess I fell asleep while re-reading it,” Tobin explain as she rubs her eyes tiredly.

“It’s okay Tobs. Are you happy with what you wrote?” Alex asks while sliding into their bed and switching off her lamp.

“Yes…” Tobin moves closer to her and wraps her arm around her waist. “I finished the story actually,” she whispers and Alex can feel the smile in her voice.

“Really? That’s awesome Tobs, I’m so proud of you,” Alex kisses the novelist’s neck.

“Thanks babe. I’m proud of you too; you nailed that job interview,” Tobin’s lips brushes the top of the younger woman’s head.

“Thanks you. I can’t wait to start.”

“You’re going to be the best soccer coach ever,” Tobin states sleepily before yawning and Alex chuckles.

“Go to sleep, we’ll talk tomorrow.”

“Goodnight my love.”

**

Living with Alex was easy in the first place. However, Tobin finds it even easier now that she doesn’t have anything to hide.

The months go by swiftly and her feelings for the younger woman only grow.

Her heart misses a beat every morning when Alex opens her eyes for the first time.

She has never enjoyed silence as much as she does with Alex, just appreciating the simple moments with her person by her sides. Not that there is a lot of silences with the younger woman, she seems to always have something to say (And Tobin loves it.)

When she thinks of it, she had written in Alex’s description that the woman was going to learn what living means. However she quickly realized that Alex was the one to teach her what it means to really live and not just take everything as it comes.

Tobin cherishes every moment, every smile, every touch, every joke, every kiss, every laugh, even the tears and the shouts when she’s done something wrong.

Their relationship isn’t perfect.  She wouldn’t have written it this way if she had had the choice.

But now, living it, she is glad she didn’t write it. It never would have been as great as it is.

Alex breaks everything she has ever known, everything she has ever written.

Before her Tobin wouldn’t have change a thing in her life. Now she knows how lucky she is that things have changed.

Kelley fake gags when Tobin tells her.

**

“I’m exhausted. Practice was so hard, even for me.”

Tobin laughs as Alex buries her face in the crook of her neck before wrapping her arm around the younger woman’s shoulders.

“You’re such a wimp.”

“Shut up Kelley,” Tobin tosses a fries to her agent who’s sitting across her.

“I want a girlfriend…” A whine interrupts what Kelley was going to say.

Tobin shots an amused gaze at Ashlyn while her best friend points at both her and Alex.

“Don’t you want a girlfriend too?” She whines again, poking Kelley’s shoulder.

“Nope, I’m perfectly fine on my own,” Kelley shrugs. “No drama, I can have sex with whoever I want, I don’t have to put a password on my phone… Yep, perfectly fine without a girlfriend,'" she says, putting her napkin on the restaurant table.

“The Hope girl took her on a second date last week,” Alex mumbles into Tobin’s neck, missing the death glare Kelley sends her.

“What? Kels you never go on second dates!” Ashlyn and Tobin exclaim at the same time, making a few customers narrow their eyes at them.

“It was a moment of weakness okay? It won’t happen again…” Kelley blushes, fidgeting with her napkin.

“She’s supposed to have dinner at Hope’s place tomorrow. Hope’s cooking.”

“I swear to God Alex… I don’t even know why I tell you stuff!” Kelley tosses a piece of bread at the soccer coach but Tobin catches it and eats it.

“Dinner at her place? Bro she’s so going to ask you to be her girlfriend.”

“No, we’re just going to have amazing wild great sex and that’s all,” Kelley states firmly, her cheeks turning redder as the seconds pass.

“Oh, they haven’t had sex yet either.” This time Alex smirks against Tobin’s skin.

“What? You? Kelley? Even after two dates? That’s so not like you usually proceed,” Tobin says, genuinely surprised.

Ignoring her friend's shocked face Kelley lowers her gaze.

“I hate you Al.”

At her friend’s embarrassment something clicks into Tobin’s mind.

“I can’t believe it…”

“What?” Ashlyn asks, as oblivious as ever.

“She likes her.”

“No I don’t.”

Tobin’s smile grows even wider.

“Yes you do! Look at you!”

“Maybe I do okay! Can we just go back to Ashlyn and her desperate need to find someone please?” Kelley whimpers.

“Oh yeah I totally need a girlfriend,” Ashlyn agrees, changing the discussion to help her flushed friend.

“Do you have a type Ash?” Alex asks, finally lifting her head of Tobin’s neck to sit back in her chair.

Kelley mouths a little “Thank you” and the blond woman winks at her.

“Not really… Kinda have a thing for brunettes though. And like athletic women too. And you know kind, funny, cute, smart and all that jazz. But I swear I’m not picky,” Ashlyn laughs.

“Why doesn’t Tobin write you a girlfriend?” Kelley playfully asks before sipping her beer.

Ashlyn and Kelley are the only people aware of Alex’s story.

If Kelley was calm, understanding and low-key when Tobin had told her, Ashlyn was another deal.

She had busted out laughing, and when Alex and Tobin had remained serious she started searching for any hided cameras. She’d come around… eventually.

“Yeah Tobin? You write yourself a girlfriend but you aren’t willing to help a friend. You’re so selfish!” Ashlyn plays along with a smirk.

“Hey, if I could help you I would buddy,” Tobin laughs.

“You don’t want to try and write something on the napkin?” Alex nudges Tobin’s shoulder and the novelist rolls her eyes.

“Not you too. You know it won’t work," Tobin says but gives in when Alex pouts. "It can be fun to give a try I guess. Okay, let’s see…” She takes a pen out of her pocket. “I need a full name. Well maybe my magic only works if the first name is Alexandra,” she smirks.

“I don’t know… I don’t care about the first name; you can go with Alexandra if it’s the only thing that works,” Ashlyn chuckles at her friend’s antics. “But maybe a fierce last name. You know like she’s a strong woman, a warrior or something. Maybe something German. It could go well with Ale-”

“Excuse me… I’m sorry to interrupt you.”

The four friends lift their eyes to look at the person, surprised when they realize it’s not their waiter but a blushing brunette who is starring at Ashlyn.

“Hum… I’m not always that forward but my friend sitting back there dared me to give my number to the hottest person in the restaurant. She’s paying for my dinner and my drinks after if I do so… Here,” the woman hands a small piece of paper to Ashlyn while brushing a strand of hair behind of her ear with her other hand.

Ashlyn stays motionless for a few seconds, staring at the brunette, until Kelley elbows her in the ribs.

“Ouch… Uh I’m sorry. I uh… Thanks?” She takes the piece of paper in her trembling hand.

Kelley and Tobin face palm at their friend’s awkwardness and Alex kicks her under the table and mentions her to present herself.

“Oh yeah sorry, I’m Ashlyn by the way,” the blond woman offers her hand to the brunette.

“Nice to meet you Ashlyn. My name is Alexandra Krieger, but my friends call me Ali.”

The next few seconds are worth a comedy scene.

Kelley chokes on her drink, spilling beer on her shirt.

Tobin strangles herself with a piece of bread, coughing loudly and hitting on her chest to try and swallow it.

Alex gasps and grips Tobin’s thigh tightly making the novelist yelps in pain which ends up helping her unblocking the bread caught in her throat.

 Ashlyn only stares at Ali in disbelief with her jaw on the floor.

“Are you guys okay? What’s happening?”

Ali’s concerned voice snaps Ashlyn out of her trance and the blond woman looks at Tobin with a questioning eyebrow raised.

“Don’t look at me dude, I didn’t write anything,” Tobin rasps, her throat still sore, while Alex soothingly rubs her back.

“That world is fucking crazy. I’m not strong enough for that,” Kelley mumbles making the table laugh.

“What happened guys?” Ali is still standing next to Ashlyn, a puzzled look on her face.

“Sorry about that. Your name just reminds us of something, don’t worry about it,” Ashlyn quickly reassures her, not wanting the woman to believe they are a bunch of crazy people (even though she knows it is exactly what they are, Ali just can’t know that yet). “So you were saying your friend is going to buy you drinks after that?”

“Yeah, we’re going to hit some bar near the beach,” Ali nods.

“Would you mind if I buy you those drinks instead of her?”

“Not at all.”

Ashlyn already likes that smile.

**

“Dude that was really smooth. I’m so proud of you.”

“Thanks Kels.”

“You totally patted your back at that one, didn’t you?”

“You’re just jealous you don’t attract ladies like I do Tobs.”

“Pff I can attract any girl I want.”

“Hey!”

“Oh yeah, sorry Alex.”

**

“Good morning Miss. What can I do for you on this fine day?”

Tobin has got used to that greeting along the years.

“Hi Rebecca. I told you a thousand times to call me Tobin,” the novelist smiles before hugging the woman.

“I’m sorry, habits die hard,” Rebecca chuckles, hugging her back. “So, what do you need today?”

“You know how I had told you I needed paper for a special book the first time I came here?” Tobin asks with a smile dancing on her lips.

“I remember it like it was yesterday. I can’t believe it’s already been three years.”

“Yeah, time flies… So yeah I needed paper for a special book. Today I need paper for a special occasion.”

**

Alex comes home exhausted after a hard practice. She is disappointed when she doesn’t find Tobin anywhere; not on the beach, not on the couch, not in their garden, not on the roof. Not seeing Moses anywhere either she comes to the conclusion that the older woman is gone on a run with him or is walking him.

She starts to boil water for her tea (with the years she’s started to appreciate the beverage more and more. But she’d never tell Tobin) and pours herself a cup.

The soccer coach sits at the kitchen bar, facing the ocean behind their bay window, when her eyes catch a glimpse of something.

A small book is sitting on the bar, with a leather cover. When she takes it in her hands she’s surprised to read the title.

_Will You Take Care of My Paper Heart?_

Her fingers brush the title as she remembers when Tobin had murmured the same words in her ear in the darkness of the night.

When she turns first page she finds the word her own raspy voice had immediately answered.

 _Always_.

The page facing the word announces **_Chapter One_ ** and Alex turns the page, eager to find out what the chapter contains.

_I had always been the person writing the stories, writing the heroes. I had never been the hero of a story._

_Until one day, when Alex Morgan rang my doorbell, and by entering my house entered my life._

_It was crazy in the first place, admitting that who I wrote was real and asleep on my lap._

_My purpose was clear: sending Alex Morgan back to her world, sparing her the pain of knowing the truth._

_I was such an idiot. I’m still sorry for lying Al._

_You’ve made me realize that I am the hero of the story that is my life. I could never thank you enough for that._

_**Chapter Two**                           _

_Until finding a solution I had to take care of Alex Morgan._

_Living with Alex Morgan was, and is, probably the easiest thing to do for me._

_As each day went by I found myself getting closer and closer to her._

_She was, and is, like a magnet attracting me with a mysterious force._

_Thinking back at that time, I always had the solution to send her back. I just needed to write._

_But that mysterious force was keeping me from doing it._

_And as the days went Alex Morgan started to become Alex, my Alex._

_Alex Morgan, she and her became Alex, you and your._

_Alex Morgan started to become a person and not just a name I wrote._

_You are so much more than what my imagination could come up with._

_You are an amazing, strong, smart, funny, talented and gorgeous person._

_You are my angel, my miracle, fallen from Heaven._

_You fell from heaven but I that time I was the one falling in love._

**_Chapter three_ **

_If I had known how you would react I would have told you the truth earlier._

_I was so scared that you would be hurt, pained by it that I didn’t consider the possibility that you’d take it well and be understanding._

_I was also so afraid that you would hate me._

_And you surprised me once again._

_That night is still as clear as crystal in my mind._

_You were so tender and understanding, reassuring me when I should have been the one reassuring you._

_I was still a fool, thinking that I knew what the best thing for you was. Luckily you convinced me._

_I knew deep down that you should be the one making the choice, having the power on your life._

_And it all became clear with your murmur against my lips._

_My heart has never been the same since you murmured the three words back._

**_Chapter Four_ **

_Having you by my sides every day is the best gift God could ever give me._

_Since the day we became sure nothing could happen to you anymore I’ve been loving my life with you. I’ve been loving every day since that day._

_I love waking up to you._

_I love watching you sipping your first coffee of the day._

_I love putting your cup in the dishwasher after you abandoned it in the sink._

_I love walking Moses with you._

_I love the look in your eyes when you go to work, excited about what this new day will bring._

_I love how you can watch me write during hours without moving, with that beautiful look of adoration in your eyes._

_I love calling you my girlfriend and acting possessively in bars when someone hits on you, even though I know they’d never have a chance._

_I love how you try to teach me how to cook. In other words I love how patient you are._

_I love your voice when you yell at me. But I love it even more when you whisper sweet nothing in my ear._

_I love how competitive you are._

_I love how you laugh at my jokes, no matter how bad they are._

_I love how you are the only one able to make Kelley shut up with your smart remarks._

_I love that I am the only one you want to be with when you cry. I love kissing your tears away. But I hate seeing you upset. Especially when I am the reason you are._

_I love how you are always willing to go on a trip with me, even if it is out of the blue, even if it is to the grocery store, even if it is on the other side of the planet._

_I love to touch you. In all the possible ways. I love to hold your hand, I love to kiss your lips, I love to touch you with my voice, I love to touch you with my words, and obviously I love to make love to you._

_I love how you curl up on my side on the couch when we watch a movie._

_I love how you snuggle closer to me in bed, always finding the crook of my neck._

_I love feeling your steady breaths on my skin._

_I love how loved you make me feel._

_I love the journey we are on together._

_I’ve loved these pass three years with you._

_I love you._

_And I can’t wait to live the next chapter of my life with you._

A drop falls on the page and Alex finally realize that her eyes are filled with tears and that her cheeks hurt from smiling.

Having Tobin’s vision of their relationship, how her feelings have evolved from considering Alex as a simple character to cherishing every part of her, means something Alex can’t put into words.

Her fingers slowly caress the last phrase.

She can’t wait to see where the next chapter of their life brings them. She can’t wait to keep living with Tobin and loving her.

Caressing the last word she realizes that something is written on the next page.

**_Chapter Five_ **

Her eyebrows clench together as she grabs the page to turn it.

“I wonder what she wrote there.”

Her breath gets caught in her lungs.

_Will Alex Morgan marry me?_

“Will you?”

Blue eyes shift from looking at the words to looking into deep loving brown ones.

Tobin is sitting next to her, a beautiful ring in one hand while the other hands a pen to Alex.

Silence fills the room, and is only broken when Alex’s hand grabs Tobin’s pen.

The familiar sound of her pen scratching paper comes to Tobin’s ear.

When she reads what Alex wrote it’s in a soft murmur while a tear escapes her eye and a wide smile stretches her lips.

“Yes.”

Warmth spreads in her body when Alex kisses her with everything she has.

Tobin feels as if she is on cloud nine, holding the woman she loves, the woman she is going to marry, her fiancée.

Her heart is surprisingly steady when Alex moves back a little, letting their lips brush slightly.

“I promised you I would always take care of your paper heart.”

 

_FIN_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tatatadaaaaaa!  
> Let me know if you liked it!  
> See you next time pretty souls <3


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